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On the not-so-bright side, Eva frowns every time she walks past a mirror and sees the raised skin of her scar. Every time I catch her doing it, I walk up behind her and kiss it. She hates the scar. I remind her it'll get better as it heals. She still hates it, calls it ugly. Sometimes, she'll laugh when I tell her if I can find her beautiful after she burps, then the scar won't change that either.
Sometimes I wonder if what happened haunts her more than she lets on. I'll have nightmares every now and then about it, only they're so much worse than the reality. I don't tell her about them because I don't see how it could be helpful. Could she possibly be thinking the same thing if she's having nightmares? I don't know. I hope she will talk to me if she is struggling though.
Tonight, we're lying on the couch watching Home Alone, her favorite Christmas movie, who knew? It's Christmas Eve. There's a tree up in the corner. We decided to spend Christmas here together, just the two of us. We'll be making visits home later in the week. We waited until yesterday to put a tree up. Considering there isn't a lot of space to store Christmas stuff here, we bought a live tree we can throw away later and a grand total of five ornaments.
“We don't need much,” Eva had said. “Just a little something.”
So, we picked out five ornaments, bought some lights, and spent the afternoon decorating. Tonight, instead of baking cookies, we baked brownies. We've already eaten half of them. I sigh happily at my life. It's too much sometimes, but damn if it's not amazing.
“Would you ever want to marry me one day?” Eva asks without looking up at me. Every so often, she'll ask a question about our future. Where would we want to live? What would our house be like? What are we going to do when she graduates? How many kids could I picture? Her questions alter between things we should think about, like what happens when she graduates, and fantasizing about our lives after college, like her question tonight.
“Yeah. One day,” I repeat her words. “Without a doubt,” I add. There's no need to tell her I've already started putting money aside for a ring. The plan is to wait until after I've graduated. Two years to go. Well, two and a half really. We'll have been together for three by then and be much more ready to handle a marriage. I don't mind waiting. I want to wait. I'm content with how we are right now. But I also know what I want and even if Eva doesn't realize it, I'm planning and preparing for our future together. She'll answer her own questions usually, so she's supplying me with the information I'll need to make our dreams a reality.
She lifts her head with a smile and kisses me. “Good answer. Maybe by then, I'll be okay with burping the entire abc's for you.” I laugh and her smile softens as it always does when she says, “I love you, Emerson.”
“I love you too, Eva.”
Every day I wake up with one goal in mind. Make Eva happy. As long as I reach that one goal, everything else falls into place. It's not always easy, especially when we argue over stuff that doesn't matter in the long run. Things like how I didn't like how she cleaned. Eva was quick to tell me I was stuck in how I've been doing it and it
's the only reason I said she was doing it wrong. I stared at her dumbstruck because my first thought was she's not doing it how I do it. But at the end of the day, we're happy.
Without a doubt, we're happy, we love each other, and all the troubles makes it worth it when she's with me. There's a saying about how endings aren't so bad because it opens the door for a new beginning. Eva was my new beginning and I don't think either of us plans to let our story come to an end.
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
Without You - Hinder
Not Meant To Be - Theory of a Deadman
All or Nothing - Theory of a Deadman
100 in a 55 - Pop Evil
It's Been Awhile - Staind
Far Away - Nickelback
Someday - Nickelback
Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback
I'd Come for You - Nickelback
All or Nothing - O-Town
Used To - Daughtry
Crashed - Daughtry
Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down
God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton
Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton
I Can Love You Like That by John Michael Montgomery
Dear Reader,
