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Kel apparently thought the same because her hands tightened on my shoulders. “I was going to take her over to Baby Rama Eats. She should keep up her strength.”
“Oh, I’m starving. I’ll buy her some French fries.” Sage reached for my hand and tugged me with her.
Helplessly, I waved at my sister. I nearly mouthed, “call 911,” but I managed not to.
There was a small restaurant attached to the baby store. Tacking on the equivalent of a McDonald’s complete with play area onto a kid shop was a little odd, but I supposed it was an ingenious way to keep the children busy and fed while the parents shopped.
Sage was true to her word and bought us both French fries and milkshakes. Vanilla for me, chocolate for her. We sat at a tiny table shaped like a mushroom and I ate rapidly while I tried not to make it obvious that I was half waiting for Sage to pull out a weapon from her boat-sized purse.
“I’m not mad at you,” Sage announced.
“I’m sorry I said that. I’m not myself right now.”
Sadly, I was very much myself. I said rude things that got me in trouble often. I just had the excuse of pregnancy hormones along with exhaustion and worries I couldn’t discuss with my sister.
She probably didn’t even remember I turned into a zombie sometimes after dark. She was already concerned enough that Gage and I were completely incapable of raising an infant that I wasn’t about to remind her of my issue as a teenager.
As a teenager and currently. Yay me.
Sage shrugged. “Actually, my husband would probably agree with you. Which I will admit is part of the reason I insisted that we named her Star. Oliver needed some shaking up. If it’d been up to him, he would’ve probably named her Eleanor Mildred.”
I snorted and inhaled salt off my fry into a place it should not go. Once I’d soothed my throat with some of my shake, I had to grin. “He does seem a little uptight.”
“Most of the time.” The way she said it made me think that Oliver was capable of shedding his prim and proper attitude when necessary, but we weren’t close enough for me to pump her for salacious information.
“She really is a gorgeous baby. I’m probably just jealous.” Saying it aloud was a revelation.
Because I probably was.
I’d never thought I wanted a kid or a husband. At least not yet. But now that I was pregnant, I was suddenly aware of all I didn’t have. My life felt so tenuous. For the first time, security was the most appealing thing in the world.
Was this my version of nesting? I’d thought that happened in like the eighth month or something.
I sneaked a glance at the purchased book now tucked securely in the plastic bag at my hip. I’d find out all the details about how pregnancy worked soon enough.
God help me.
“Thanks.” Sage unwrapped her straw. “We’re more alike than you realize.”
“We are?”
“Yes. I realize we barely know each other, but I’ve gotten the feeling from Kel you weren’t the settling down type.”
“Accurate.”
Partly for reasons people couldn’t begin to guess. I didn’t know how to trust a guy. And if I couldn’t trust a dude with a sleep disorder millions of people dealt with, why bother trying to build a relationship beyond the physical?
I knew not all men were dicks. Some would understand. It was just that risking it felt so huge and scary, and I’d never met anyone since Shane who seemed worth the leap.
Until now. Maybe.
“I had always told myself I wanted to have a husband and kids, but not yet. I was a virgin, for God’s sake. I wanted to play the field a little. At least get on the field, you know?” She slurped hard on her straw.
“Yeah, I do.” I played with my straw wrapper. “It’s different for guys.”
“So different. But once I came to terms with being pregnant, I realized I didn’t really want to play the field, because I’d already found more than I’d hoped for. If you strike gold, why go back to mining for iron?”
“Well, iron isn’t exactly a bad thing to find, but yeah.”
