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Oh, and that bean-sized baby growing in my belly that would change everything.
More changes.
But if Dr. Ellis had been right, at least I wouldn’t be alone to figure them all out. That wasn’t even what I was most frightened about. Asher had already begun to prove himself as a stand-up man who handled his responsibilities. Not that I relished being another one of those for him.
I was scared I wasn’t up to the task of being a parent. That I couldn’t give to a child when I still felt so hollowed out and empty inside after the loss of my parents. I had barely lived myself, and now there would be a new life.
And what about Asher? He’d been thrust into a role he’d never anticipated. To saddle him with another child when he clearly didn’t know what to do with the first almost seemed cruel.
As if fate was laughing at us.
Two incompetent strangers, thrown together to raise a baby.
Two babies.
Except we didn’t feel like strangers anymore. And my feelings in his direction were already overwhelming. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to spe
nd time with him and Lily. I wanted to make him smile and to watch his serious hazel eyes soften as he looked at me, just as they were right now.
I wanted far too much, and telling him about this baby might kill my chance at all of it. It would change me from the woman he was attracted to into one more responsibility.
One more task on his list.
“Why can’t I leave?” I whispered, far too aware of how much I wanted to stay.
In this mostly empty house with its magical library and comfy bath mat and baby laughter.
With Asher.
He put the first aid kit back in the medicine cabinet and nudged me out the still open door. Without saying anything, he took my hand and led me down the hall and up the stairs.
I should’ve shaken him off. We weren’t a couple. But I liked his big hand enclosing mine far too much.
At the top of the stairs, he turned and headed down the hall past several doors. He opened one slowly, and I swallowed a sigh as the nursery came into view.
The fully outfitted nursery, where so much of the rest of the house had still been in transition.
Soft butter yellow walls were decorated with zoo animals that matched the brightly colored rug on the hardwood floor. A tall white rocker piled with pillows stood between the windows, and I gasped as I glimpsed all the snow outside.
Holy crap, when had that happened? Exactly how long had I been tossing my cookies?
Asher stepped behind me and cupped my shoulders. When he spoke, it was near my ear, fluttering my messy braid. “Told you.”
“Guess the forecasters were right.”
“Guess so.” A shiver went through me as I tucked the candies into my jeans pocket. Was I imagining things or had he pressed his lips against my earlobe, just for a second? “I hope you don’t have anywhere you need to be tonight.”
Twelve
Yes, I do. Right here.
But in lieu of answering, I moved to the crib. The railings on this one were much higher and the mattress was lower. Either he’d had the setup at this house correct the first time or he’d listened to my advice.
I grinned as I took in Lily’s little face pressed against the bars of her crib. “Aww, you’re in jail, huh, honey? You’re being so quiet. So good.”
Somehow the praise sprung Lily into action. She lurched to her feet and banged her fists on the bars, then lifted her arms toward me as I leaned over to free her from her pretty white prison.
“You’re definitely her favorite,” Asher observed as I picked her up and cuddled her close. I was beginning to get used to the feeling of a baby in my arms.
