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For that matter, had I?

“I didn’t suggest eating a gallon of ice cream for dessert one night.” I lowered my voice just in case my best friend was standing near the door. “I suggested making a baby.”

“Mmm-hmm.” He slipped his finger underneath the collar of my nightshirt. “Ivy loaned this to you, didn’t she? Her husband is filthy.”

“He loves her madly.”

“Lucky for him, because he would’ve been left for dead in a ditch otherwise.”

I had to grin, more than a little wistfully. “I’ve never had a defender like that. I always wanted a brother or a sister. Someone so I wouldn’t—” I broke off. Nope, this wasn’t the place for those kinds of declarations. I didn’t talk about my background, not even with Ivy.

I’d left all of that behind.

“So you wouldn’t what?” he asked gently.

“So I wouldn’t always get in trouble of course.” I forced myself to smile, determined not to let the familiar memories seep in and ruin this. Whatever the heck this was.

I didn’t know for sure, but there was no denying the mad locusts circling in my belly. He wasn’t saying no. He didn’t think I was crazy. Or if he did, he was crazy too.

We could make a baby and be crazy together.

“Defenders come in all shapes and sizes. Family is definitely more than blood.”

I lowered my head before he could see the quick prick of tears. Normally, I wasn’t a crier, but something about recklessly planning for a baby with my best friend’s brother was messing with my tear ducts.

“What would Ivy say?”

Almost instantly, his jaw firmed and his eyes fired. “About what?”

“You know about what. Us. This.” I gestured between us. “Us having sex and making babies. She’d be shocked and upset—”

“The only reason she’d be shocked and upset is because we didn’t tell her. But that’s your call, not mine.”

I fell silent as his little truth bomb detonated my resistance. At least for a second.

“But I get that you’re worried. You love her. You’re afraid to rock the boat. Except if we succeed…” He took a deep breath. “If we succeed, she’s going to have to know about it. Because there’s no way in hell we’re creating a child without me being there one-hundred percent.”

My chin lifted. “We didn’t discuss that part.”

“We are now.”

I set my phone back on the nightstand, my gaze catching again on the tiny violet. He truly was the sweetest guy. I’d missed

so many of the small kindnesses he offered while I was busy snarking and sniping at him.

“I didn’t think all this out, in case you figured I’d come up with some big plan. Just after the scare, it stuck in my mind. I knew I should be relieved. But I wasn’t.”

“Same.”

His agreement bolstered me to continue. “I’ve always wanted a baby. I’d thought maybe it would happen with—”

“Valet dude,” he said tightly.

“It didn’t. I was too young in any case, and I had other dreams too. Ones I could attain for myself even if the kid thing wasn’t in the cards.”

“Who said it wasn’t? Did he?”

When I didn’t answer, he raised my chin until our eyes were level. “You can tell me.”

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