AllFreeNovel
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“Shit. A bitch is bored as fuck.”
“Poor thing,” I say, mergin’ onto US 13 South toward I-264 West. Then outta nowhere a bitch has this crazy idea to bring Chanel down here to help me work these country coon-muhfuckas ova. I quickly shake the shit outta my head. This ho ain’t built for puttin’ in this kinda work, I think, glancin’ at my reflection in the rearview mirror. “Sounds like you need some dick?”
She laughs. “Fuck you.”
“Where’s Divine?”
“He’s on his way home.”
“Then let that nigga be da one fuckin’ you. Wit’cha freak-ass.”
“Whateva. I’m comin’ to Jersey to chill for a few days. You home.”
“Sorry, sweetie, I’m outta town.”
She sucks ’er teeth. “Figures. When ya ass comin’ back?” I tell ’er in a few days. She grunts. “Mmmph, you always dippin’ on a bitch.”
“Awww, let me find out you feelin’ all salty ’n shit,” I tease. “You know I love you, Sugah. But get ova ya’self. I need you to do me a fava.”
“Wassup?”
I tell ’er I need ’er to go up to the hospital to spend time wit’ the baby ’til I get back. I tell ’er I finally came up wit’ a name for ’im. “Girl, you know I got you. What you gonna name ’im?” I tell ’er I decided to go wit’ Zaire. “Ohhhhkaaaaay now. I like.”
“Me too,” I say, smilin’.
“So who you outta town wit’, Allstar?”
It dawns on me that I haven’t heard from the muhfucka in’a couple’a days. I’ve been so sidetracked wit’ my own shit that I hardly noticed ’til now. Mmmmm, that’s strange. Da nigga must be real busy. “No, I ain’t heard from da nigga.”
“Realllllly? Ya’ll still cool, right?”
“I guess. Like I said, I ain’t heard from ’im.”
“Hmmm, da nigga must be preoccupied.”
“Whateva. Da nigga ain’t my man.”
“I feel you, boo. Da only man you gonna need in ya life is Zaire. Fuck’a Allstar or any otha muhfucka.”
“And you know this, trick,” I say, laughin’. She asks how my visit went wit’ them CPS bitches. “You know I kept it real cute wit’ them hoes. They gonna do a corny-ass background check on’a bitch, but I ain’t sweatin’ it.”
“I know that’s right. Then what?”
Then a bitch gonna eitha sink, or swim, or die muthafuckin’ tryin’. I swear I don’t wanna be one’a them hoes you read ’bout in the news who tosses ’er baby outta a window, or leaves it locked up in a closet. I start feelin’ fucked up knowin’ a bitch ain’t have a mother to show—or teach—’er how to be a mother.
“Then a bitch gonna be sittin’ up in somebody’s parentin’ class,” I tell ’er.
“And I’ma be right there wit’ ya, boo.” I smile. Tell ’er how much I love ’er freak-ass. Tell ’er how much ’er friendship means to me. “Ho, let me find out ya ass gettin’ all sappy on a bitch.”
I suck my teeth. “Bitch, puhleeze.”
“Well, I know ya stank-ass ain’t tryna get no pussy. Or are you?”
“Bitch, you must be tryna get ya fronts knocked.” She starts laughin’. “Hahahaha hell, tramp. You done said this a few times. So keep shit real. You a twat muncha?” She tells me no. Tells me she’s fantasized ’bout it, but hasn’t done it—yet. Tells me Divine wants to have a threesome wit’ ’er and anotha chick. I frown at the thought of that nigga rabbit-fuckin’ two bitches. But, keep my trap shut. A bitch ain’t tryna get reeled into any of their sex fantasies, so I cut the shit short. “Mmmph, do you, boo. Look. Let me get up off this line. I’ma hit you up when I touch Jersey.” We go back and forth poppin’ shit a few more minutes, then disconnect. I decide to hit up Allstar up to see what’s good wit’ his ass. He answers on the fifth ring.
“Hey wassup?” he says, soundin’ all nonchalant ’n shit.
I frown. Wassup? Is this nigga serious? I ain’t heard from this muhfucka in almost four days and ‘wassup’ is all the muhfucka can say?
