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“What’s up?” she questioned, soundin’ all paranoid ’n shit. “T said you were tryna get at me. What you need?”
“Well, I
wanted to know the name of that doctor’s office you work at.”
I could see the bitch twistin’ her lips up, lookin’ at the phone. “Why you wanna know that?” she asked, soundin’ all tight ’n whatnot.
I sighed, then paused. “Because I need to get tested, ASAP,” I lied.
“Well, that’s not what T said. She said you was tryna get at me ’bout your moms ’n shit.”
Well, if you knew that already, bitch, why the fuck you askin’. I shook my head, rollin’ my eyes. I thought for a quick minute how I was gonna come at her. Although I wanted to really dig in her ass over the phone, I knew if I did she’d hang up, then I wouldn’t get what I wanted. And right now, my only focus was gettin’ at her. Keepin’ shit real, I didn’t know if my issue was really with her flappin’ her fuckin’ gums or if it was ’bout the idea of my moms bein’ pregnant again. I was feelin’ some kinda way that the bitch barely wanted me growin’ up and now…humph. I ain’t even goin’ there, not now, anyway.
“I…well, on some real shit, I had heard my moms was up in ya spot. I woulda asked her where the spot was, but we beefin’ again. And I ain’t beat to call her ass ’bout shit.”
“Humph. Ya’ll at it again. That’s a damn shame.”
And so is ya damn grill, I thought. “Anyway,” I said, pausin’. “I think a bitch is knocked.”
“Get the fuck outta here?!” She laughed. “Not Miss I Got My Shit Together. Humph. Now, that shit’s priceless.”
I don’t know what the fuck she thought was so goddamn funny, but I humored her dusty ass, anyway. “I know, right,” I said, givin’ this bitch one of my phony laughs. “A bitch got caught up in the dick. Hey, shit happens—even to the best of us.”
“So why you ain’t tell Tamia? She didn’t say shit ’bout you bein’ knocked up. What’s good with that?”
This stupid bitch, I thought. “’Cause I didn’t tell her,” I said. “That’s why.”
“So, what you tryna do?”
“Well, right now, I need to be seen. I haven’t given much thought to what I’ma do after that. A bitch ain’t tryna have no baby.” I threw that in for good measure.
“Well, I can schedule you to see one of our doctors next—”
“Girl, can I get somethin’ sooner? I’m already two months late. A bitch is stressed.”
She sighed. “Let me see.” I heard papers shufflin’ in the background. “Hold on,” she said. I smiled. Yeah, I’ll hold on alright, ho. Well, the bitch had me on hold for almost five minutes. “Okay, I can get you in to see one of the doctors tomorrow at three forty-five.”
“That’s perfect. Umm, can you do me a favor?”
“Sure, if I can.”
“Well, can you keep this on the low until after I find out what’s really good with me?”
“Girl, you know how I do. We from the same ’hood. I got you. Just let me know how you make out.”
I laughed to myself, rollin’ my eyes. Yeah, bitch, you right. I know exactly how you do. I already knew the minute I hung up her he-mannish ass was gonna be on the phone with Tamia’s infested ass. And then she got the fuckin’ nerve to ask me to let her know how the fuck I make out. This nosey bitch knew I knew that if I really was goin’ there for an appointment, she’d have her pudgy-ass nose all up in my file.
I sighed for effect, actin’ like I was relieved. “Thanks, I owe you.”
“Oh, trust. I’ma hold you to it.”
Oh, please. When I finish with ya ass, the only thing ya gonna be holdin’ is ya face.
She gave me the address. I twisted my face up when I saw that it was on Pacific Avenue. Hmm, I thought, I thought Chanel’s ass said the spot was over on Atlantic. That bitch can’t get shit straight.
After I took down all the information, I asked her crusty ass if she was gonna be there when I got there. I already had it planned out in my head how I was gonna walk up in that piece and go dead in her mouth, and if she wanted to rock after that, then we could get it in. And once Tamia got wind of it, I already knew we’d be at it, too, ’cause that’s how they do. But it was all good. It wasn’t like her ass added any value to my life any damn way. My mind was already made up that I was cuttin’ her off so if she wanted it, she could get it, too. There was definitely more than enough ass-whoop to go around.
“No, I’m outta here at two-thirty on Wednesdays.”
