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Heaven sat on her bunk staring at her incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? You felt disrespected? How about how I felt hearing you use the word nigga talking to your so-called black man—or whoever the hell he is to you? And don’t fucking tell me in which context you used it, or meant it. The fact is, you used it. Then turned around and called him a black motherfucker? And you don’t see anything wrong with that picture.”
She scowled. “No, I don’t see anything wrong with it, because I’m not a racist.”
Lord Jesus. This ignorant bitch still doesn’t get it, Heaven thought as she stared at her blankly. She sighed. She had bigger battles to fight than trying to educate Sabina. She liked her, but she was giving this ho the side-eye.
“Bitch, I’m not calling you a racist. I’m calling you out on the fact that when I hear a white woman call a black man she’s fucking nigga, all I hear in my mind is the word nigger, whether you meant it that way or not. Personally, I don’t care what the two of you call each other in the privacy of your own shit. But, bitch, doing that shit in earshot of others could get you dragged and stomped; that’s all I’m saying. Be mindful of what you say, and where.”
“So you’re telling me, you’ve never gotten mad and called your ex—or any other man—and called him a black motherfucker or used the N-word—with an A at the end—out of anger?”
Heaven sighed. “Bitch, go have a seat. I’m black . . . he’s black, so why would I need to point that out to him if I’m calling him a motherfucker, huh?” But in truth, Heaven had been guilty herself in the past of calling men she’d been pissed at black (with more emphasis on the word black) motherfuckers at one time or another in her life.
It was wrong, but she’d done it.
“But yeah, I have been guilty of it,” Heaven finally admitted.
Satisfied, Sabina smugly stepped away from the television. “As I thought. So tell me this. Why the hell you mad with me—a white chick, for calling her man the same thing you and nearly every other black woman has called her man at some point?”
Well, she had a point. Still . . .
“I should be able to talk to my man however I want. IF he doesn’t check me on it, then why should you or anyone else? I am not apologizing for what I said to him. He pissed me off. But I will apologize to you if what you heard offended you in any way.”
Heaven twisted her lips. “Well, apology accepted. Still, bitches like you who do that shit make it out to be about race when you choose to point out that he is a black motherfucker. You knew he was black before he stuck his dick in you. Now get it together, because someone else might overhear you calling your black man—whether he accepts it or not—that and they might be ready to stomp your kidneys out; that’s all I’m saying. Now what’s for dinner, bitch?”
• • •
“Now that we’ve made up and we’re back talking,” Heaven said, leaning her elbows up on Sabina’s bunk.
“Wait. Shouldn’t we hug or something,” Sabina joked.
Heaven playfully rolled her eyes. “No. You might try to fuck me.”
Sabina laughed. “Bitch, not.”
Heaven gave her a “yeah-right” look. “Anyway, moving on. Riddle me this: how many COs you think are up in here fucking inmates?”
Sabina pulled her earbuds out of her ears and pursed her lips as she let the question roll around in her head.
“Hmm. Does sucking count?”
Heaven rolled he
r eyes. “Yeah, tramp. Getting sucked or getting licked. It’s still sex.”
She sniggled. “Girl, you know—wait for it—eating ain’t cheating, right?”
Heaven gave her a blank stare. “Is that what they’re teaching these days? I’ll pass on that, hon. Speaking as a woman who has been cheated on, if a motherfucker is getting his dick sucked or has his face stuffed between some ho’s legs, then sorry boo, his ass is cheating; especially if he’s doing it behind his partner’s back. Come again.”
“Ohmygod! Wait! You’ve been treating me so shitty lately, I almost forgot. Did you hear about Struthers?”
Heaven tilted her head, kept a straight face. “No. What about that fucker?”
“Girl, he’s been out on leave. And I overheard he’s retiring.”
Heaven shrugged. “Good for him. One less freak to fry,” she said dismissively. But inside she was smiling. She’d gotten him out of there. And she’d been able to get the warden to agree to making sure women had access to more sanitary pads and toilet paper each month, along with getting fresh uniforms weekly. And—for those inmates who came into the prison with no money and wearing no underwear—new packages of underwear when they first arrived in prison.
“Now back to the question,” Heaven stated.
Sabina playfully rolled her eyes. “Cranky, eh?”
