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“No, it’s cool. I’m off the rest of the week, so we could spend the whole week together, and do something really nice for your birthday. I can even take you sightseeing, or we can just chill or whatever. Besides, I know this really nice restaurant we could go to for your birthday.”
Yeah, the “whatever” bein’ me showin’ ya ass howta spend ya checks. “Well, check this out. The only sights I’m tryna see while I’m there is that big, fluffy ass of yours bent over wit’ this dick goin’ in and outta ya pussy. Then I wanna see you down on ya knees wit’ my balls smackin’ ya chin while you suckin’ on this dick, real talk, ya heard?”
“Ooh, that sounds good to me.”
“Then that’s what it is.”
“What time does your flight get in tomorrow?” I give her the flight details. “Okay, I’m gonna pick you up at the airport, so cancel your rental.”
Hell, I didn’t even have one, but I go along wit’ it anyway. “You sure? ’Cause I can just drive out to you?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I told you I’m off, so it’s not a problem.”
“Aiight, then, bet. I hope you ain’t gonna front on a nigga.”
“Hell no,” she says. I can tell she’s grinnin’ and all happy ’n shit ’cause she’s ’bout to get her ass some thick, juicy Jersey dick. “I been thinking about you every since we started kicking it on Myspace and on the phone. I’ma be there before the plane hits the ground, waiting for you. You just don’t know how you made my day. OhmyGaaaawd. I’m so excited.” Sounds like the chick is salivatin’. Them country-ass, bama niggas down there must not be slingin’ no real dick.
“Aiight, then, baby girl. I’ma see ya fine-ass tomorrow. And when you come through, don’t wear no panties. I wanna play in ya pussy on the way back to ya spot.”
“Okay,” she says. “Can’t wait to finally see you in the flesh.”
“I can dig it. One more day, and it’s fuck city, baby. So, brace ya’self ’cause you ’bout to get the muthafuckin’ ride of ya life. See ya tomorrow.”
“Umm,” she says, clearin’ her throat. “I need to tell you something before you get here.”
“Aiight. I’m listenin’,” I say, rollin’ over on my side, starin’ at the wall.
“Uh…” The bitch pauses. And I start thinkin’, Awwww, shit. This ho is ’bout to tell me she looks like Fiona in Shrek.
“Yo, you still there?”
“Yes.”
“Aiight, then. So what’s good? What you gotta tell me?”
“Well…uh, those pictures I sent…well, they don’t really look like me.”
I frown. I knew it! The bitch gotta face like a groundhog. “So, what you sayin’? Ya ass is ugly or sumthin’? ’Cause the chick in those flicks look good as hell, word up.”
“No, no, I look good.”
“You got that fat ass, right?”
“Yes.
“Okay, then, you still fuckable. So what’s the problem?”
“Well, I’m much shorter, and a bit lighter, in person.”
I let out a sigh, chucklin’. “That’s it? Shit. I thought you was ’bout to hit a nigga wit’ some shit like you was a burn victim wit’ no teeth and legs.”
She laughs. “No, nothing like that. I have all of my teeth. And I’m definitely not a burn victim. I just didn’t want you to be caught off guard when we met.”
“Check this shit out,” I say. “As long as you gotta fat ass, ya pussy is clean, and you tryna eat this nut outta my dick, we cool. You dig what I’m sayin’?”
&nb
sp; “Oh, good. That’s a big relief. Most guys start tripping once they meet me.”
