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“Nah, baby, fuck you!” I press End. What a pigeon, word up! I don’t know why these bitches gotta play themselves. If a muhfucka ain’t beat to fuck wit’ ya ass, then take ya retarded ass on. But, noooo, its thirsty-ass hoes like her that’ll start stalkin’ a muhfucka ’cause he done shut off her cum supply. I shake my head. Fuckin’ pathetic!
When Vita finally comes outta the bathroom, I go in. Take my shower, then get dressed. Thirty minutes later, we’re out ’n about. She takes me to this Italian spot, Brio Tuscan Grille, down in Buckhead. And I can’t front; the food was bangin’. Bein’ out wit’ Vita wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, yeah, there were a few chicks and a couple a cats who were kinda lookin’ at us sideways ’n shit—well, at least in my head they were. But I didn’t really give a fuck. Keepin’ shit real, she ain’t half-bad.
After we grub, she shows me around Atlanta. We drive down to Piedmont Park and walk around for a while. Then we check out the Coca-Cola spot, The Underground, and the Aquarium. I guess I fuck her head up when I tell her I wanna check out the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial site. This silly bitch didn’t think a nigga like me would be interested in history. And I guess I fuck her head up even more when I look at her ass like she’s crazy when she says she’s lived in Georgia all her muthafuckin’ life and has never been there. And when I hear she’s never traveled outta the South, I’m really amazed. How the fuck can anyone be okay wit’ not ever explorin’ the world? Wow…that’s all I could think.
Eight A.M., Saturday mornin’, Vita comes skippin’ up into the bedroom singin’, “Happy birthday to you, happeeeee birthdaaaay to you! Haaaaaaaaaaappeeeeeeee birthdaaaaaaaaaaay, Dear Alley Cat…Happeeeeeeeeeeeeee birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu…”
I stretch and yawn, then lean over the side of the bed so I can see her. “Thanks, baby.”
I get up and sit on the edge of the bed, rubbin’ the sleep outta my eyes and grabbin’ the plush rug wit’ my toes. “Why don’t you climb ya sexy-ass back up on the bed?” She grins, climbin’ back up in bed. “Let me go drain this snake, then I’ma take care of ya.”
I get up and take a leak, wash my hands, then come back into the room. She’s sittin’ up in the middle of the bed wit’ two king-size pillows propped up in back of her. She smiles. “What, why you smilin’?” I ask, gettin’ back in bed.
“I’m happy,” she says.
“’Bout what?”
“All this, you holding me, making love to me, spending time with me…” I need to check my phone for any messages, I think. And see ’bout gettin’ at that Stone Mountain beauty before I bounce. I bet she got some good pussy, too. “…I’ve never met anyone like you. Or had a man treat me the way you have.”
And ya ass never will. “Oh, word?” She nods. I reach over and lightly kiss her on the lips. “I just want you to know how special you are. That’s all, feel me?”
She blinks. Her eyes start gettin’ all watery ’n shit. Fuck, here we go wit’ this teary-eyed shit! A muhfucka like me has no patience for a cryin’-ass ho. “You really think I’m special?”
Yep, you’se an extra special ho. Meep, meep…the short, yellow bus kind. I keep myself from laughin’. “No doubt, baby,” I say, liftin’ her chin up and lookin’ her in the eyes. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you anything different, ya heard?”
She nods. She smiles, gazin’ at me like she’s all in love ’n shit. “I wanna take you out to Phipps Plaza and buy you something really nice for your birthday.”
Now that’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ ’bout. “Awww, baby, you don’t have to do all that. Just bein’ here wit’ you is nice enough.”
“That’s sweet of you, but this is your day. And I want to make it very special. So I’ma take you shopping, then out to eat.”
“Yo, on some real shit,” I say, pullin’ her into me and kissin’ her on the lips. I slip my tongue in her mouth. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back. “You really tryna fuck a nigga’s head up, baby.”
“I think you’re a really special man. And you deserve a woman who knows how to treat a man like you. A woman who can let you be the man you need to be; yet, still encourage and inspire you to be the best you can be…”
This broad sounds like she’s preparin’ for a muthafuckin’ campaign or some shit. Why can’t these hoes just enjoy a muhfucka wit’out tryna bring in all the extras. Damn! I wanna put the brakes on it, but decide to let it ride, for now.
“…I know I don’t really know you, but I’ve never felt this way about any man. And trust me. I’ve had my share of them to know what I’m talking about. I wish I could put what I’m feeling into words that made sense. Hell, I’m still trying to make sense out of it. All I know is you’re the type of a man I could fall in love with…”
Alrighty then! The whole time this chick is talkin’ I’m hearin’ cash registers and cuckoo clocks in my head. The shit’s hilarious to me. And I’m ’bout to bust out laughin’. But I fight to hold it in.
“…Do you believe in love at first sight?” I hear her ask.
Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo! “Nah, baby, not really.”
“Well, I hope I don’t sound crazy or anything, but I do. I knew the first time we spoke on the phone that I was going to fall for you. And when I picked you up at the airport, seeing you confirmed what I already was feeling in my heart.”
Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo!
“Listen, baby,” I warn. “Don’t do it to ya’self. A nigga like me ain’t ready for nuthin’ more than some pussy.”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry. I don’t have any expectations from you. I’m a big girl. And I’m responsible for what I allow to happen. I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me. But who knows. Maybe one day you will. If not, it’s cool. No matter what, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience this feeling with you.” Her eyes start to well up. “I just want you to know how happy you’ve made me feel.”
Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo! I wanna tell this ho that a nigga should never be what makes her happy. That no matter how good a muhfucka fucks her guts out, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna be good for her. That n
iggas like me can smell a vulnerable, lonely bitch a mile away and will prey on her ass, and take her for e’ery muthafuckin’ thing she’s worth. I wanna tell her all this, but I don’t. Why the fuck should I? Hell, I’m tryna get all I can outta her ass. I pull her into my arms, kiss her on the forehead and then say, “I’m glad I could bring a lil’ joy in ya life.” I give her a few tongue-probin’ kisses, then slide my fingers into her pussy, slow stroke her insides, ’til she nuts all over my hand. I suck her juices off my fingers, then slide my tongue back into her mouth.
Thirty minutes later, we’re showered, dressed and out the door on our way to pick out my “birthday” gifts. And when we return, four hours later, I’m horny as hell from all the shoppin’ she’s done on a muhfucka. Well, aiight, aiight, that’s not the only reason why my dick is brick. Akina’s been textin’ me all muhfuckin’ afternoon talkin’ ’bout how she misses me and wants me to eat her pussy, then beat it up like it stole a nut from me; ’bout how she wants to lick my balls and asshole, then suck my dick ’til I nut down in her throat; ’bout how she wants me to fuck her ’til her pussy burns. And of course I texted her back, lettin’ her know exactly how I was gonna tear her ass out the frame when I get home. In the meantime, I’ma rock Vita’s box.
