AllFreeNovel
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When I’m done pissin’, I wash my hands, starin’ at myself in the mirror. You’se a sexy, black muhfucka, I think, dryin’ my hands. “Oh, aiight. That’s what it is. What’s the chick’s name, again?” I walk back into the bedroom. I throw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie, then sit on the edge of the bed to slip on my Nikes.
“Lydia.”
I grab my car keys and head downstairs, walkin’ into the kitchen. “Oh, aiight. She look good?”
“Yeah, she’s decent-looking.” I frown. When a chick says another chick is only decent-lookin’, that means one of two things for me: She’s either fly as hell and bein’ hated on, or she’s related to a damn gorilla.
“Don’t have me layin’ up wit’ nobody lookin’ like Shrek, or some wildebeest ’n shit.”
She laughs. “She’s far from either, trust me.”
“Oh, aiight. Just makin’ sure. So when we makin’ it pop?”
“You tell me. You’re the one who seems to have the busy schedule.”
“Next Friday,” I tell her, lookin’ at the mini calendar on the ’fridge door. I open it and take out a bottle of Dasani water, open it, then guzzle it down.
“Okay, perfect. I’ll let her know.”
“Bet. You gonna eat that ho’s pussy while I fuck you from the back, right?”
She laughs. “I don’t know about all that. I might let her eat mine, but I don’t think I can stomach licking another woman’s pussy. And why she gotta be a ho?”
’Cause that’s what the fuck she is. I suck my teeth, iggin’ the question. “Yo, go ’head wit’ that corny shit. Talkin’ ’bout you ain’t eatin’ no pussy. Fuck outta here.”
She huffs. “OhmyGod…how is that being corny? Would you be down to suck a nigga’s dick, if I wanted a threesome with you and another dude?
Is this cum-breath ho fuckin’ serious, askin’ me some dumb shit like that? She knows damn well no real nigga suckin’ another nigga’s joint, period! “You musta bumped ya damn head. Hell muthafuckin’ no! I ain’t on that homo shit.”
“Hmmm…but, you think I am.”
“Yo, ain’t nuthin’ homo ’bout two freaky broads gettin’ it in,” I tell her, lockin’ up Pops’ spot and then gettin’ in my ride. “I think that shit’s sexy as fuck, watchin’ a fly-ass chick munchin’ anoth
er bitch’s snapper while throwin’ her fatty up on this big-ass dick. It’s time you take ya friendship to the next level. Step outta ya box, baby, and let it do what it do. Slurp ya girl up while I stretch ya back out. I’m tellin’ ya; it’ll make y’all’s bond tighter.” I spark a blunt, then take two pulls, slowly blowin’ it outta the side of my mouth. Fuck the dumb shit she talkin’. I already know what it is. Wit’ a few drinks and the right mood, this freak bitch’ll be lappin’ at the clit.
“Yeah, whatever.” She laughs. “That’s what your mouth says.”
“Nah, baby…it’s what I’m tryna get ya mouth to do, but you wanna be on some extra-dumb shit.”
“I can’t believe you’re serious.”
“Hell muthafuckin’ yeah, I’m serious. Oh, so what you thought; I was gonna lay back and let both of you suck my dick, then fuck you both one at a time and that was gonna be aiight wit’ me?” I ask, slowin’ down to pay the toll. Crook-ass muhfuckas, I think, handin’ the attendant a twenty. A fuckin’ dolla to ride the muthafuckin’ highway. That’s some real bullshit. I take my change, then pull off.
“I told you, she can eat me. Other than that, I’m not making any promises.”
“Nah, baby, I ain’t that kinda dude. I need a lil’ more than that. Seein’ two chicks freak is what bricks my dick. I wanna see you sixty-ninin’ that shit.”
“Hmmm…and what am I getting out the deal?”
“The best of both worlds,” I say, laughin’.
“Yo, what the fuck, asshole?!” I snap on this dumb-ass cracker bitch who keeps ridin’ his brakes in front of me. “Oh, my bad,” I say, gettin’ into the next lane. “This dumb fuck in front of me, tryna cause a damn accident out here.” I drive up alongside the car, ready to ice-grill whoever it is. But, I shake my head when I see it’s an old-ass woman wit’ her seat way up to the steerin’ wheel. The dumb bitch is practically sittin’ up on the dashboard. “So, you tryna let a nigga taste ya girl’s pussy on ya lips or what?”
She finally says maybe; that she’ll think about it.
I grin, finishin’ up my blunt, then tossin’ it out the window. “Yeah, baby, you do that. I’ma see what’s really good when I come up next week.”
“Cool.”
