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“How many boxes of condoms are you bringing with you?”
“Two,” I tell her.
She laughs. “I should have known.”
“You know how I do, baby. Gotta keep my man wrapped.”
“I know that’s right,” she says, gigglin’. “Speaking of which, do you use them all the time?”
“No doubt. I don’t play that naked dick shit. You should know that by now. Wrap it up, and tap it up; that’s how I do mine, baby.”
“That’s good to know. But wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go raw in someone?”
I think, try to remember the last time I gave a ho this dick naked. My mind drifts back to the days down in my boy Red’s basement and all the bitches we fucked raw and how good that shit was. Then LaTonya’s nasty, skank-ass flashes in my head and a nigga frowns. She was the last bitch to get it naked, and the first—and last—bitch to give me an STD. “Nah, I’m good,” I say. “Broads can’t be trusted; when that pussy gets hot, they’ll get straight nasty wit’ it to make that thing pop.”
“That’s not true. All women aren’t like that. At least I’m not.”
“Well, okay, most of ’em, then.”
“Don’t you ever think about being with one woman?”
I sigh. Didn’t we already go over this the last time I was out there? What the fuck?! See. This is the shit I don’t like ’bout bitches. They wanna ask a muhfucka the same muthafuckin’ questions they done already asked, like the fuckin’ answer’s gonna change. “Nah, I don’t. Why?”
“I’m curious; that’s all. I asked you before, but you never gave me a straight answer.”
“I didn’t give you a straight answer ’bout what?”
“About how many women you’re sleeping with.”
I roll my eyes, shakin’ my head. “I thought I did.”
“I’m sure in your mind you thought you did.”
“I told you I had a few friends wettin’ this dick. How was that not answerin’ ya question?”
“Hmmph, okay. Well, now I want to know how many women did you sleep with last year?”
I frown. What the fuck is up wit’ her today? How the fuck I know? I don’ keep count. “I don’t know; a few.”
“A few like in three, or in five?”
I see she’s not gonna let this shit go ’til I give her what she wants. I take another long pull off my blunt. Hold it in my lungs, then slowly blow it out. For some reason, I close my eyes and start countin’ in my head. Cherry, one…Ramona, two…Electra, three… Akina, four…Falani, five…Lydia, six…Sherria, seven…Maleeka, eight…Crystal, nine…Vita, ten…Stephanie, eleven…Keisha, twelve… Lahney, thirteen…Tameka, fourteen…Ramona, fifteen…Nicole, sixteen… Carla, seventeen…Naomi…eighteen…Shalonda, nineteen… Damn, only nineteen. Fuck! I need to do better in oh-nine.
“If I told you fifty, would that change anything?”
“No, not at all. Like I said, I’m only curious.”
“Oh, aiight.”
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
She sucks her teeth. “Did you sleep with fifty women last year, or not?”
“Not.”
“Well, how many then?”
