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“Oh, really? Nigga, I followed some bitch driving your mother-fucking truck, you give me some bullshit-ass story about being with Stax in Maplewood, then come running out of another ho’s house trying to put your goddamn clothes back on. Nigga, the only one bugging is you!” He tried to calm me, but I wasn’t having it. “Tell that bitch to bring her ass outside, now.” She must have been listening at the window because when the door opened she stepped out onto the porch. “Bitch,” I yelled, “how long you been fucking my man?”
Before she was able to open her mouth to respond, Jasper ordered her back into the house. And like an obedient, dick-whipped bitch she went back in. And that only pissed me off more, causing me to smack his face and punch him in the chest for not allowing her to speak.
Anyway, come to find out, he’d been fucking the chick for close to six months and lacing her with wears and money and shit. So, basically, his ass was not only creeping, but in a whole ’nother relationship. Trust and believe, I boxed and bagged all of his shit and dumped it off on that bitch’s porch. Then I went to Home Depot and bought new door locks, changed the code to the alarm system, and blocked his numbers from my cell. He begged and pleaded and made promises to cut all of his extracurricular hoes off. But I wasn’t trying to hear it. I was through! And when I got tired of him coming here to the shop, I took out a restraining order on him. Of course that shit only lasted for three months before I went back to court to have it dismissed and he was right back where he belonged—in my bed and in between these legs.
“…the only person I’ve been fuckin’ wit’ is you,” he says, bringing my attention back to the conversation. “And that’s what it is. You’re all I need and want. So don’t try ’n flip this shit on me. This is ’bout you, baby. And me comin’ home findin’ out you was lettin’ some other muhfucka bang ya back in. So you already know if you ain’t tight I’ma fuck you up. You do know that, right?”
“Nigga,” I huff, “don’t be threatening me.”
“Yeah,
aiight. You already know what it is.”
I glance up at the wall clock. It’s 12:38 p.m. My next appointment isn’t until two. I sigh. “Well, it’s apparent you don’t trust me, so I gotta wonder why we’re even together.”
“Yo, save that reverse psychology shit for them clown-ass muhfuckas. What the fuck you mean you gotta wonder why we’re together? Don’t start no dumb shit, yo. We’re together ’cause that’s how it’s fuckin’ supposed to be. You ain’t goin’ nowhere, and neither the fuck am I.”
“Hmmph.”
“Oh, you goin’ somewhere?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“That’s what the fuck I thought. So what the fuck is you gruntin’ for?”
I’m trying to understand how the hell we’ve gone from having a nice, easy-going conversation to this shit. I swear I think this nigga’s bipolar.
“Look,” I tell him, having enough of this. “I gotta go. I have an appointment coming in.”
He laughs. “Oh, now you got an appointment ’n shit. It’s all good, though. I gotta get ready for this bullshit-ass group, anyway. So I’ma let ya sexy ass off the hook for now, baby.”
“Jasper, kiss my ass, okay?”
“Yeah, aiight,” he says, laughing. “I’ma be doin’ more than that in a minute. Believe that. And you better remember what I said, yo: Don’t fuckin’ play me.”
It’s close to six o’clock and I’m so ready to get the hell home. Today, for some reason, has been a day from hell. It has been one thing after another. And just when I don’t think it can get any worse, it does. “Pasha, you have a call on line three,” Felecia says into the phone’s intercom system.
“Okay, thanks,” I tell her, pressing the third blinking light, then picking up. “Hello? This is Pasha speaking.”
“Those sexy-ass lips of yours were all I thought about when I was in county. I beat my dick every night, thinking ’bout you suckin’ my joint again,” the voice on the other end says. His voice is deep, and unfamiliar.
“Who is this?” I calmly ask.
“The nigga you dissed a few days ago,” he snaps. “I bet you didn’t think I was gonna figure out who you were, did you, you dick-sucking bitch? I almost didn’t think I would either—until now.”
I hang up, feeling my nerves starting to unravel. Less than a minute later, another call is being transferred to me. I pick up. “Hello? This is Pasha.”
“Bitch, I’ma keep calling you so don’t fuckin’ hang up on me.”
“And I’ma call the fucking cops,” I warn.
He laughs. “Yeah, right. And tell ’em what, bitch? How you tried to suck the skin off my dick? Go right ahead.”
I take a deep sigh. He’s right. There’s no way I want that to come out. OhmyGod, I’d be the laughingstock of the town. These bitches here would have a field day with that kind of dirt on me. “Look. Why are you calling me?”
“To hear that sexy-ass voice of yours. After you told me you weren’t beat to suck my dick again and blocked my emails, you had me feelin’ some kinda way. I told you my dick needed your tongue, too…” His email flashes in my mind. OhmyFuckingGod, how did this nut find me? He continues speaking as if he read my thoughts.
“…But as luck would have it. I found you without having to look very hard. All this time, you’ve been right under my nose. Nappy No More, I like. It has a nice ring to it.”
