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She laughs, snapping her fingers. “Well allriiiight.” Click-clack, click-clack. “I knew you were gonna say that.” The phone rings; she answers on the first ring. “Nappy No More. How can I help you?” She pauses, mouths, “It’s Jasper.” I tell her to transfer the call to my office, walking off.
Janelle sees me as I head toward my office and throws her free hand up and waves. I wave back, glancing at the clock. It’s only eleven, so she still has time before she gets in my chair. I say hello to a few of the customers sitting underneath dryers.
I toss the mail up on my desk, then unlock my bottom desk drawer and place my bag inside before locking it back. As soon as my private line rings, I pick up. “Hey.”
“Aye, yo, where you been? I’ve been calling you all mornin’.”
“What do you mean, where I’ve been? I’ve been home. Why didn’t you call there?”
“I did and the shit kept going into voice mail. I called last night up ’til count, then called you this morning and the same shit. Where the fuck was you at?”
“Nigga, I just told you I was home.”
“Then why you ain’t pick up the damn phone, yo?” Shit, I think, shaking my head. I forgot to turn the ringers back on. He’s already tight—about what I have no idea, so I already know if I tell him that shit, he’s going to snap.
I decide to tell him a half-truth. “I didn’t hear the phone. When I got home last night, I was exhausted. The only thing I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pass out.”
“Yeah, aiight. And I called you this mornin’, too, yo. So where were you?”
“I already told you.”
“I’m tellin’ you, Pasha. Don’t be on no bullshit, yo.”
“I’m not on anything. But I would like to be up on that pretty-ass dick,” I say, lowering my voice and trying to change the subject. “I’m so fucking horny.”
He calms down. Usually this is all it takes to get him to shut the fuck up. I swear, I love this man, but he can make shit so damn difficult. You’d think he’d be more mellow now that his time behind the wall is short, but nooooooooo. He seems to be getting moodier, and more agitated.
“Oh, word? I’m horny, too.” He sighs, pausing. “Man, I’m tired of this shit. I’m ready to come the fuck home, yo. This prison shit is for the birds, word up. I need some muhfuckin’ pussy. I need my dick sucked. And I wanna eat some ass, bad.”
“I know. I’m ready for you to come home, too. How you think I feel? I need some dick, bad. I’m tired of playing in my pussy. I miss that big dick, baby.”
“Fuck! You got my shit bricked. I can’t wait to get home and bust that hole wide open. You better not be out there giving my pussy out, yo.”
I suck my teeth. “Not this shit again.”
“’Not this shit again’, my ass, yo. I don’t know where the fuck you was last night, or this morning.”
“Fuck, nigga,” I snap, switching the phone from one ear to the other. “I told you, I was home. I didn’t hear the damn phone because I was fucking drained. And this morning I went to the gym for an hour, from there I went to Wegmans, and then had to go to the cleaners to drop clothes off. By the time I got home, it was already going on ten, so I only had time jump in the shower and get dressed, then race out the door.”
“Yeah, aiight. Why you ain’t say all that shit in the first place? Let me find out some other shit, aiight?”
I sigh. “There is no other shit to find out, fool.”
“I’m tellin’ you, Pasha, don’t have me fuck nothin’ up, yo.”
“What. Ever.”
He lowers his voice, going from one extreme to the other. “Yo, what kinda panties you got on? We got time to get it in before your appointment?”
I glance at my watch. It’s almost quarter to twelve. If I go in on him now, I should be able to get him off in like ten minutes, maybe fifteen. But that’ll be pushing it. I am a stickler about not having my clients wait. If I give them an appointment time, then that’s what it is, unless it’s an emergency situation. Otherwise, I think it’s poor business practice to have someone sitting around waiting for you when they’ve made an appointment.
“Hold on,” I tell him, placing the receiver down on the desk, then getting up to lock the door. I return to the phone and sit back behind the desk. “I have on a purple thong.”
“Damn, yo…I wish I could smell them shits; you know, suck on ’em while I beat this dick.”
I smile. He’s such a nasty ass. “Ooh, baby, I wish you were here so I could suck all over your dick. Spit all over it, and gulp it down. Aaaah…baby, I miss that dick. I can’t wait to feel it deep in my hot pussy…”
“Yeah, baby, talk that nasty shit, yo…”
