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“Well, how’d you hear about it?” She tells me Shuwanda was there, too. That they had gone to the party together. “Hmmph,” I grunt, knowing how Shuwanda’s messy ass moves. If she sees it, she’s telling it. “Say no more.”
She flips through the appointment book. “Alicia is my girl and all. But she really played herself. And I gotta say if what she did is true, I’ma be looking at her real sideways from now on.”
“Why?” I ask, twisting my face up. I’m surprised she would say something like that. Since she claims to be so nonjudgmental, believing people should be able to live and be who they are.
“Because…one, she has a man; two, she’s sucking off a nigga she doesn’t even know—a stripper at a party, no less; and three, it’s just straight nasty.”
“What? Sucking dick?” I ask, trying to play stupid.
She looks over at me, sucks her teeth. “No, sucking dick isn’t nasty. Topping off a nigga you don’t know is. Then to have a man on top of that…” she shakes her head, frowning. “…what kind of bitch would suck some nigga’s dick off, then roll up on her man like shit’s all good?” A bitch like me, I think, shifting my eyes. “Chile, that’s grounds for an immediate beat down.”
“I guess.”
She slaps the leather book shut, putting a hand on her hip. “You guess? Bitch, what kind of mess is that? Wait. Please tell me you don’t think that shit isn’t trifling?”
Now, I’m standing here trying to act as if I’m equally turned off by the whole random dick-sucking thing, but who am I to pass judgment on Alicia, or anyone else when I’m just as messy—or worse?
Felecia and I are very close and there’s typically no topic of discussion off limits between us, with the exception of my extracurricular oral activities. That’s a subject she and I will never have, especially now. It’s bad enough she recently asked me—again, which I found quite strange—if I’ve ever cheated on Jasper since he’s been locked up. And of course, as I did the first time she asked me this—I looked her dead in the eyes and told her a bold-faced lie. “Nope. I have no reason to.”
“Girl, good for you,” she said, sipping on her third Agave Margarita. We were at P.F. Chang’s for their happy hour, eating and drinking. “I don’t know how you do it. Personally, I’d be pulling my damn hair out if I had to go without sex. I’m sorry, I love Andre. But if his ass ever got locked up I’d have to have me some dick on-call until he got out. Fuck that. I’m not about to deprive myself of some cock just because a muhfucka can’t keep his ass out on the streets to handle his business in the sheets.”
I chuckled, licking the salt from around the rim of my Margarita glass, then taking a slow, deliberate sip. It was also my third drink, and I was starting to feel the effects of it. “Well, I’m not saying it’s been easy because it hasn’t. But with the help of a whole lot of batteries and a collection of toys, I get by.”
“Hmmph,” she grunted, scooping out another helping of brown rice, then arranging several shrimp over it. She puts a forkful of food in her mouth, then points her fork at me as she chews. “Girl, if the shoe were on the other foot, do you actually think Jasper would be so quick to keep his dick in his pants?”
“Of course not,” I say, grabbing a shrimp from her dish, then popping it in my mouth. “He’d probably be slamming his dick into something the same night.”
“So if you know that, why wouldn’t you want to get a little side action until he comes home?”
Truth be told, I wasn’t sure if she was asking me this to bait me—call it paranoid if you want, but I knew better than to give her anything other than my scripted truth. “Because it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t need the headache.”
She stared at me, took another sip of her drink. “So, tell me this. Did Jasper tell you that you better not fuck around on him, or was he open-minded enough to realize that you’re a woman with needs and that if you’re going to do it, then do it discreetly and responsibly?”
I gave her a crazy-ass look, raising my eyebrow. “Girl, what you think?”
She laughed. “I know; stupid question. He probably said,”—she deepened her voice—“’Pasha, let me find out you giving up my pussy, and I’ma beat the dog shit outta you.’”
I crack up. “Exaaaaactly “
She sucked her teeth. “Niggas kill me. They can fuck and do whatever they want, but the minute they think we’re letting someone else get what they think belongs to them, it becomes a damn problem.”
“You ain’t never lied. You know how these niggas are.”
“Yep,” she said, eyeing me. “And Jasper’s the type of crazy-ass nigga who’d be more than happy to go back to prison if he ever found out some extra shit about you.”
I started choking on my drink. “OhmyGod, girl, don’t say no shit like that.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “And you’re probably right. Hopefully,” I slipped, hoping she didn’t catch it, “That’ll never happen.”
“Hopefully? Bitch, whaddaya mean ’hopefully’? I thought you said you’ve never cheated on him.”
“I haven’t,” I quickly stated. “I was only saying. You know what I meant.”
She eyed me, then grunted. “Mmmph, let me find out…”
“Bitch, please. There’s nothing to find out. This pussy is sealed tighter than a fortress.”
