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He covered her hand and brought it up to his chest. The chain he always wore slid over their joined hands. “It was this kind of stasis. She was always there, but without an actual outlet to see me, she grew quiet. I still got letters, but I could ignore them. But then the festival was coming up again. I did it the year before. You weren’t in Winchester Falls yet.”
She laid her cheek against his shoulder blade. “No, we moved in the next month actually.”
“It’s a good thing. That show was the beginning of my trip into crazy town. I hated that she had ruined the one place I loved to play. And when I knew I was coming back, I was determined to make it different this time.”
“You, your band, and your friends made the festival a complete success.”
He turned in her arms and her hands slid up his back to hook over his shoulders. “You were the reason. I forgot for a little while that she was there. I had fun on the stage again. I had my brothers back.” He locked his arms around her hips. “I was falling so hard for you, Izzy. The no turning back kind.”
“I…” Her throat closed up. The words were pretty and she could see the reasoning behind how he acted, but there were still so many holes in his story. “You kept all of this from me. How can you say you were falling in love with me if you couldn’t share them?”
“I was going to. I was going to come clean about everything after the festival. But then she was there.”
She slid away from him. “You knew she’d be there. What did you just tell me? She’s always there?”
“She wasn’t there that first night. I thought maybe, just maybe I was finally free of her. She’d been quiet. Then there was this woman who finally made me want more. I wanted something that wasn’t just scratching an itch until I got to the next show.”
“And you threw it away in the middle of that fair, Logan.” She drew in a deep breath. “Even before that when you kissed Lindsey.”
Seven
Logan stalked across the floor to her. “No. I didn’t kiss Lindsey. I almost did. She was the kind of choice I made before. Fun, no frills, no emotions. I wanted her to be the one I lost myself in. Not you.”
She jerked back a step and pain flared in her eyes. “Well, I’m sorry I was such a bad choice.”
He rushed her, locking his hands around her forearms as he forced her to stand there. “That night you came to dinner. The night you turned me away.”
“So it’s my fault?”
“No. You wanted to shut us down just as bad as I did at first. Admit it.”
Her topaz eyes glistened as she lifted her chin. “You’re not the choice I’d make.”
His gut burned, but he lifted his hand to the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair. “Neither of us wanted this. I was a hot mess of problems, and you had your own plans. I get it. But it doesn’t matter. The moment I saw you in that barn I knew I was fucked. That barn changed everything. It gave me everything.”
She slammed her fist into his gut. “It took it away too. You kissed Lindsey in that barn.”
“I didn’t.” He shook her. “Those pictures were well fucking timed.” Again, the paparazzi showed the truth and the lies all in one shot. “I wanted to. I even bent my head to. I thought that if I could make myself want Lindsey than I could ignore us. She’s beautiful and talented.”
She struggled in his hold and he tightened his abs as she drilled her fist into him again.
“Hellcat.”
“You don’t tell the woman you’re trying to get back that another woman is beautiful, goddammit.”
“She’s not you, Izzy. She’s nothing compared to you.” He brought his other hand up to cup her face. “It’s not her face burned in my brain, or her face that I see in every crowd and hope to fuck it really is you and that I’m not insane. That I could catch just a glimpse of you and memorize those eyes that haunt me every damn night. Topaz eyes, my Izzy’s eyes.”
She reached up and gripped his wrists. “The song.”
“You. That song is you. You had to know.” He swiped a hand down her shoulder and over the soft swell of her breasts, cupping her almost roughly. He gentled his touch, his thumb found the tight center and swiped around it. “Your skin, the soft pink of your sensitive nipples that harden under my tongue, the honey taste of you under my tongue when you come so fucking hard that the world trembles.” He caught her hip. “That I tremble.”
She shook her head. “Chemistry.”
“Your laugh. The way you toss zingers at me as if insults are fucking caresses. I ached for every word, every moan, every bust-my-balls comment, and every laugh. Even when you yelled at me in that barn. Dammit, Izzy. You’re everything I ever wanted. Strong, sexy, and God, yes, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Or will ever know.”
Fat tears tracked down her cheeks.
“No, baby. Please.”
