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He took a deep breath in, his eyes still on mine, and then blew it out slowly. He repeated the action a couple more times until I joined in, and little by little my muscles unclenched, the nausea passed and my heartbeat slowed to its normal pace. When he was sure I was okay he let go of my hand.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, finally able to see the world around me again. Tommy was nowhere in sight. “Why did you do that? Why did you help me?”
“My sister suffers from anxiety attacks. I’ve had to calm her down many times and I know how bad it can get. I couldn’t leave you here alone.”
“What about what Tommy said?” My heart rate picked up again as I asked the question, waiting for his response.
“I don’t like what I know about you and Miguel, and I don’t support it. I can’t. I can’t understand how you could move on from Will so fast, and especially not with his best friend. But you’re still my teammate and that means I’ve got your back.”
My meltdown left me lacking the brainpower to defend myself. I didn’t know if it was worth it anyway since he and everybody else had made up their minds.
“Why did Tommy talk to me that way?” I picked up a napkin from the table and began idly folding it between my fingers. “He doesn’t know anything. Nobody does.”
“Tommy can be an asshole and I will kick his butt for being such a dick about this. But he saw what he saw. You know how much everyone loved Will so what did you think would happen if you dated Miguel?”
“You think I didn’t love him? You think I don’t still love him?” I sighed, still unable to find the right words and not wanting to waste an explanation on someone who didn’t want to listen. “Thank you for being here for me, but I’m okay now.”
Cody nodded, his long fringe falling over his eyes again. “See you later.”
Cody left the diner, taking my appetite with him, but I made myself stay and forced myself to eat even though every mouthful made me gag.
The reaction from my teammates was hurtful but not surprising. Leah was right when she said that the people who mattered were the ones who would wait for the truth, but I’d expected more from Cody. I appreciated him sticking with me through my panic, but ultimately, he felt the same way as everyone else.
My instincts urged me to tell Richard I wanted to go home but I refused to walk away and give people more to talk about. My whole body ached from the tension I’d held during my freak out but I pushed through it as best as I could. Weirdly, Richard was the only person who hadn’t given me even a hint of a strange look. Perhaps he hadn’t heard the rumours yet, but he would in due course. I was happy to leave that conversation for a bit longer, and I didn’t even shower
before I left work at the end of the day. I bolted to my car and drove home as fast as the busy L.A roads would let me.
Later, when I’d showered and changed, and was enjoying the evening sunshine out on my balcony, the first peace I’d had all day was disturbed by what sounded like paper rustling. I stepped inside and closed the balcony doors. The noise was coming from my front door. Puzzled, I walked across the living room and down the hallway. A piece of paper had been slipped through the gap under my door and I leaned down to pick it up.
It was me. The photograph Miguel took of me at the roller rink before the evening had turned to shit. That woman was not the same woman who held the picture now. The woman in the photograph had let go of her sadness and claimed a moment of joy. The woman holding the photograph had almost forgotten how good it felt.
I reached for the door handle and turned it, not really expecting Miguel to still be there. However, the sight that greeted me made my tension dissolve in an instant.
Miguel stood in front of me dressed in red pants, black shoes and white socks, and a red and black leather jacket; a replica of the jacket Michael Jackson wore in the Thriller video. He looked both ridiculous and awesome at the same time, and when he did the weird neck wiggle thing the zombies do after they’ve risen from under the ground, I lost it. My shoulders shook with giggles and I fell back against the wall, clutching my stomach as my stress dispersed into the atmosphere.
“Can I come in?”
All I could do was nod, and Miguel stepped inside. As he closed the door, he grinned. “That’s better.”
Peeling myself from the wall, my eyes still streaming with tears, I said, “Did you really have that outfit in your closet?”
Miguel shook his head, his cheeks reddening slightly. “No. I bought it today because I thought it would make you laugh.”
That was Miguel. Always willing to do something silly if it would make someone feel better. Still clutching the photo he’d slid through my door before shattering my composure with his costume, I let him pull me into his arms.
“Thank you.” I rested my hands on his back, and for a moment, the world was brighter again.
“How are you doing?”
“Better now. But before you got here, I was trying to figure out how to stop everyone treating us like crap.”
I briefly explained what had happened with Tommy and Cody at lunchtime.
“Yeah, that was pretty much how my day went too. I got hounded in the locker room by almost everyone. Jude was pretty upset.”
“God, what’s wrong with everyone? Why is nobody interested in finding out the truth?”
“I don’t know. But I did get a call from Leah yesterday.”
