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“Literally what the hell? I gave you Callie’s address because you said you wanted to make things better. You told me that you cared about her.”
Matt sighed. He hefted his bag onto the desk. He didn’t sit. He thought it was better if he remained standing so Chantara couldn’t look down and rain insults on him. Not that he didn’t deserve it. Because he fucking did.
“Look,” he tried to explain. “I’ve been playing it over and over in my head. I… I thought if I spoke to her that things would be okay.”
Even to him, his words sounded pathetic. What he thought was that they’d reach a resolution, tearful on her part, where she said he was right, thanked him for his insight and agreed to see him again. I’m an idiot. He cursed himself for actually expecting it to happen, as though thinking it would make it true. What transpired was obviously not the scenario he’d played out in his head. He’d only made things worse.
“And obviously it wasn’t. I came home last night, and she had locked herself in her room. She said she didn’t want to talk, but I could hear her crying. I know you went there yesterday, as soon as I finally gave in and gave you the address. She never came out once. I’ve never seen her do anything like that, not even when Ben left.”
That choice bit of information hit Matt right in the chest. He felt more than winded, he was floored. “I- I’m sorry. I really did try to talk to her. I wasn’t mean or anything.”
“You and your kind have a different way of being mean.” Chantara glared at him fiercely.
“My- my- kind?” he stammered.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m afraid I don’t.” He eyed up his chair, really wishing he could sit, since at the moment, his legs felt like they were going to give out, but he didn’t.
Chantara crossed her arms. “Of course you don’t. You’ve had everything given to you forever. You haven’t ever had to worry about anything. Ever.”
“How would you know that exactly?” His words were flat and betrayed nothing. He found it completely ironic, almost funny in a horrible kind of way, that Callie had pretty much accused him of the same thing the day before.
“Just look at you!” Chantara spat. “You probably got this job because your mom or dad or someone you knew pulled some strings for you. Unlike the rest of us who have to work hard for every single thing handed to them.”
“Actually, neither my mom or dad got me this job.”
“They paid for your college then, so it’s the same damn thing.”
“They didn’t do that either. I paid my own way.” He could tell that Chantara was getting more worked up as the seconds went on. It wasn’t a good idea to piss off the only person he might have on his side when it came to Callie, so he changed tactics. “I might understand what you’re talking about. I grew up in a good neighborhood. I definitely had advantages that other people didn’t.”
“Privilege.”
“I don’t know-”
Chantara’s jaw ground together so hard it was nearly audible. “Did you ever think that having money is a privilege? You have a reputation for-well- for the women liking you. Why do you think that is? Don’t tell me it’s just because of the way you look, because I’ll tell you right now, it isn’t. That whole thing- don’t think it’s not on Callie’s mind. I don’t know what you did or said to get her to- to sleep with you,” she lowered her voice for that part, “but it’s probably never going to happen again. She’s been hurt enough. She doesn’t want to be rejected by another guy. Ben threw her to the curb. She had to explain to people why he left her. Do you have any idea how hard that was for her? I mean, her family knew, but other people? His family? It was a fucking nightmare.”
He winced. “I can imagine.”
“Can you? Mr. Easy Ticket, Golden Boy, Whatever…”
“Okay-” he put up a hand to stem any further choice words, but also to cut Chantara off before she really got going and the whole office heard their conversation. The walls of his office were only so thick. “Okay. I can see this isn’t a conversation I would ever win. Not that I’m trying to. I’m trying to tell you that I never meant to hurt Callie. I know what you think. That I wanted to sleep with her as some kind of conquest and be done with it, but I told you before, that’s not what I want. I’m not going to lie. I haven’t set the best- example when it comes to that in the past. I can see how you both would think that and she’s right to have doubts, but I do care about her. She’s- she’s different. There is something about her, Chantara, that I can’t even explain to myself. You might not believe anything else, but believe me, what I told you was true. You gave me her address-”
