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“Oh my God, I can imagine how shocking it must have been for you,” she says.
“It’s taken me this long to come to terms with the whole idea of being a father. And that’s only because of you and Ivy. Being around Ivy had shown me that babies are not terrifying.”
“I take it one day at a time and not think so much to the future,” Vanessa says.
“That’s a good strategy,” I say. “I’m planning on visiting her a lot more often now.”
“Will you take over her care at some point?” Vanessa says.
I nod. “I’ll have to and now I’m starting to think that I can. I spoke to one of the guys at work who was a single dad for a long time and he gave me some pointers. It made me think that I can do it too. Besides, it’s not fair to dump that responsibility on Valerie and Morris. I’m Emma’s dad.”
“She’s got a beautiful name,” Vanessa says softly.
“She’s beautiful, just like Ivy.”
“It seems as though this is a year for shocking news,” Vanessa says. “Yesterday, my mother’s boyfriend, Jim, let it slip that he and Mom met when they were both at the cemetery. He, to put flowers on his late wife’s grave and my mom, to do the same at our father’s grave.”
“Go on.”
“That’s it,” Vanessa says. “All our lives, mom has never spoken about our father, and she had always resisted our attempts to get her to tell us about him.”
“You mean you knew nothing about him before that?” I ask her.
“Nothing,” Vanessa says. “Years ago, we were so desperate to know but I guess now we’re used to not knowing. Lexi and I agree not to pursue it.”
I’m stunned at the tale and also by Vanessa’s reaction. “You don’t want to know the man who is responsible for your existence?”
“Well, when you put it like that it does sound weird. I guess I would like to know, I just don’t want to have to wrestle my mother for the information. I have a feeling she won’t give it even now and it’ll just make me more frustrated.”
“You won’t have to ask her. You already have some clues to go with,” I tell her.
Her eyes gleam in the semi-darkness as she stares at me. “Which clues do I have?”
“You know the name of the cemetery and Jim’s name. All you have to do is to look for his wife’s name, which shouldn’t be too hard, and then find her grave. After, it’s just a matter of noting the neighboring graves. It shouldn’t be too hard to narrow down on which one is your father with some research.”
“Will you help me?” Vanessa says.
“I was hoping you’d ask. I can find out Jim’s wife’s name for you and when you’re free, we can go to the cemetery.”
“We can go tomorrow. I’ll leave work at three and will have two hours before I have to pick Ivy up.”
“Deal.”
Chapter 19
Vanessa
“What will you two ladies have?” the server asks returning to our table.
Eva and I are in the café down the street for a quick lunch before my afternoon class. Today is packed. We’re taking two classes each and I’ve already taught my morning class. Eva has an evening class so when I leave, she’ll be getting ready to teach her class.
We both order sandwiches and coffee.
“You’ve been acting weird all day,” Eva says to me when the server leaves.
I can’t hide anything from Eva. We were roommates in college and we can easily read each other’s body language. “Logan and I are going on an investigative mission.”
“A what?” she says. “I’ve heard of many things that a couple do but I’ve never heard of that one.”
I laugh. “It’s not what you think.” I tell her the whole story of dinner with Jim. Eva knows my background and how my mother has always kept my father’s identity a secret.
“I’m with Logan here,” she says when I finish talking. “You would have given anything to know this a few years ago. It’s natural to want to know where you came from. Hell, you probably have a whole extended family somewhere.”
My heart pounds with sudden excitement. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel excited before this, considering all the disappointments of the past. The thought of other people related to Lexi and me is beyond exhilarating.
It’s always been just the three of us. My mother was an only child and her parents died in a car accident when she was ten years old. That much she has told us. She was taken into foster care which I suspect is what messed her up. If it wasn’t for my sister, we would have been permanent foster kids too. She made sure to keep it a secret when our mother was drinking again after a stint in rehab. That way, we got to say home and she took care of the both of us.
