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"I was hoping you’d become more adjusted to the idea," he finished, his shoulders falling as he watched the panicked look cross her face.
But group counseling? Had he lost his mind? She’d barely grown comfortable talking to one person—him—about the pain. No way could she spell it out to an entire room full of people. Then she’d have to sit there and listen to their stories in return. No, thank you. It was hard enough to shoulder her own misery. No way could she handle someone else’s too.
"Breathe, Mia."
Dr. Higgins’s voice floated through her and she unconsciously opened her lungs, sucking in air. Her pulse beat against the sides of her neck, and she pressed her hand to the front of her throat like that could actually stop the pounding.
"Gooooood," the counselor cooed. "Close your eyes and concentrate on breathing. One breath in. And one breath out."
She obeyed, shutting out his office and staring at the insides of her eyelids, focusing on working her lungs. In and out.
"Go to your happy place, Mia. Relax for a minute."
She nodded, letting him know she heard his suggestion. But when she forced her mind to envision the beach full of white sand and bright blue waters she usually pictured, she glanced over to the beach chair next to hers and found Drew Harper in a pair of swimming trunks. His eyes remained hidden behind a pair of black shades as he sipped from a tall glass with an umbrella toothpick holding together a cherry and a chunk of pineapple.
After swallowing, he sighed, refreshed and sat the drink aside. Then he turned to her, white teeth glistening as he smiled. "The bartender sure knows how to mix a drink," he murmured, leaning over the arm of his chair to move closer toward her.
"But it still doesn’t taste as good as you." He continued to smile as he pressed his mouth to hers.
Mia held her breath, waiting for the moist, softness of his lips. For his taste. But when it never came, she remembered this was only happening in her mind.
Her eyes flew open; a sob caught in her throat.
What in the world?
How had Drew Harper invaded her happy place? He didn’t belong there. She only went there for peace and quiet. For sanctuary. Not to experience some hanky-panky with the deceiving photographer.
She hadn’t desired a man since Lexie was alive and Ryan was still in her life. It felt wrong to experience longing now. And actually like the sensation.
When she realized her cheeks were wet, she sniffed and glanced guiltily toward Dr. Higgins. "I’m sorry," she whispered.
He shook his head. "There’s no need for apologies. No one here’s going to get upset if you fail. You tried. That’s what is important."
She nodded, but inside the disappointment sliced through her. She wiped at her tears and told herself she would stop thinking about Drew Harper if it was the last thing she did.
Chapter Seven
"Thanks again for coming with me." Drew slung the strap of his camera bag over his shoulder and glanced at Mandy. There were purple smudges under her eyes, and he knew his call last Sunday was the reason for any lack of sleep she’d experienced.
He should’ve kept his big trap shut.
He wanted to apologize and somehow make it up to her, but this was definitely not the time or place. He had to get through the next couple of hours first.
Behind him, his two nieces and one nephew piled out of the backseat of Mandy’s car he’d been driving and raced toward the entrance of his childhood home. As they sprinted, they all yelled, "Brianna!"
In answer, the front door swung open and his seven-year old half sister streaked outside, waving to Natalie, Lucy, and Felix. He watched their reunion as the four danced in circles and jabbered a hundred miles an hour in kid talk. His little sister, Brianna, was definitely a happy child. But then, twenty-two years his junior, she’d never experienced any of the childhood he or Mandy had. And she had a different mother as well as a father who no longer worked eighty hours a week to pay the bills.
She had dark, curly hair exactly like his, which always made his stomach hurt when he saw her. This girl was blood of his blood and he felt
as removed from her as he did Candace’s other two children.
Next to him, Mandy said, "I think I would’ve been in trouble if we hadn’t come with you." There was amusement in her voice as she watched the children. "They love visiting Bri."
Delighted to see her smile, Drew’s breathing became easier. "Don’t leave me," he said under this breath. "You’re my assistant today."
She rolled her eyes. "Why’re you always so afraid to come to Dad’s alone?"
"I’m not afraid," he muttered, sending her a moody frown.
