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Yeah, I must really be off my game today.
I settled for bread and made myself some toast with butter. Then I poured a glass of milk and sat at the table to stare blindly at the kitchen cabinets and counters while I ate, tasting nothing.
I still kept seeing flashes form the night before, Melody’s long dark glossy hair swaying as she bounced on Beckett’s lap, Beckett’s groan and that look on his face when he came, the way she’d told him how she knew she’d get him sooner or later and how worth it it’d been after they were done. Every sight, sound, and smell seemed permanently imprinted on the inside of my eyelids. Okay, maybe not the sounds and smells. Not sure how to imprint those on eyelids, but every sense from the night before was firmly stuck in my memory banks forever, that was for damn sure.
“Morning.”
The kitchen light flicked on, and I nearly jumped out of my skin as Logan, Paige’s boyfriend, shuffled into the room rubbing his eyes.
Pressing my hand to my still-racing heart, I gasped, “Hey,” and watched him alertly as he proceeded to fix two cups of coffee.
“How was the party last night?” he asked, his back to me as he worked.
My eyes sprang open wide. “What? Nothing happened. Why are you asking?”
Oh my God, what did he know?
He paused and sent me an odd look over his shoulder. “Huh?”
I blinked, realizing he’d just been trying to make polite conversation. He really knew nothing. So I forced a yawn to make it seem as if my brain was still too sluggish with sleep to function properly. Then I said, “I’m sorry, what did you ask?”
He tipped his head to the side as if trying to figure me out. But then he turned back to his coffee. “Just wondering if you had any fun at the party you left in such a hurry to attend.”
“Oh.” Had I left in a rush? I guess I had felt the urgent need to flee. Watching Tess and Jonah and Paige and Logan together had been making me stir-crazy. But I’d had no idea they could tell I’d been frantic to escape. Yikes. I needed to work on that. The last thing I wanted to reveal was how much their lovey-dovey ways bothered me.
“Fine. It was fine,” I started to answer before shrugging and adding, “Boring.” Well, it had been boring right up to the point I’d bumped into that drunk into the hallway, who’d spilled beer on me, followed me into a back room and then proceeded to have sex with another girl while I was trapped in the bathroom and forced to watch the whole thing. But yeah, before that. Boring. “I left early.” Sending Logan a tight smile, I might’ve even fanned my eyelashes innocently.
His eyebrows crinkled, totally not buying it. “You weren’t back by the time we went to bed.”
“Oh…” Crap, maybe I hadn’t left early. Honestly, I had no idea how long I’d been at the party before I’d bumped into Beckett, or how long spying on him and Melody had taken. Time made no sense at the moment. “I, uh, I drove around a while before coming home.”
Wait, that hadn’t sounded like I had delayed in coming home, had it? Like I hadn’t wanted to be around him and his lovey-doving on Paige all the time? I mean, I hadn’t wanted to be around it, but I didn’t want him to know that. If anyone ever found out how truly jealous I was, I think my life would cease to exist as I knew it.
“Oh,” he said, nodding at my answer. I don’t think he knew how to reply, so he smiled vaguely, finished fixing his two cups of coffee, then picked them both up and nodded my way before fleeing the kitchen.
I blew out a long breath, feeling way too strung out and on edge for so early in the morning. I really needed to get my act together or someone in this house was going to realize something was up with me.
Focusing on my breathing and trying to calm myself, I had another few minutes of reprieve, alone with my stirring thoughts and deep-even breaths before Tess and Jonah joined me, holding hands and talking quietly together as they entered the kitchen.
Tess’s face brightened when she saw me. “Morning, Bailey. Did you have fun at the party last night?”
Christ on a cracker, why did everyone want to know so much about that stupid damn party?
Fine. Maybe they were just being nice and trying to act interested in my life. I was being paranoid. I got that. No one actually knew what I’d seen. I just had to act cool, play this off naturally. No problem.
Except I sucked at acting. I was a bit too open and honest for that shit, like the brutally embarrassingly open, honest type. I couldn’t be chill when I felt like a fembot in the presence of a strip teasing Austin Powers. My head was probably seconds from doing a three-sixty and my chest would no doubt explode right after that, rolling smoke from my ears.
I mumbled a non-answer and nodded. Tess didn’t have a chance to press for more information because Jonah had already opened the refrigerator door and was asking her what she wanted to eat.
While they were couple-cooking their breakfast, I slipped out of the kitchen. Once back in my room, I gathered my things and decided to head to work early. There was always stock in the back my boss Vivian wanted put out that no one ever put out on the display racks. Maybe I could do that. I didn’t realize I was over an hour earlier than usual until I left my room and bumped into Paige who was heading toward the bathroom with her towel and clothes bundled to her chest.
“Hey, you’re up and around early today,” she said on a smile. “Must not have stayed at the party until the wee hours last night, huh?”
“I, uh…I have some stock to sort through. My boss asked me to come in early,” I lied, cringing internally because I hated to lie. Like I said, I was usually too brutally honest for people’s comfort. “Have a good day.”
Yeah, I’m lying through my teeth, but have a good day.
Geesh, I felt like a great big fraud of a human being.
