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I rushed out of there and arrived at the clothing outlet store I worked at before it had even opened. After blindly gathering armfuls of clothes in the back, I hauled them into the front and put them on hangers before tagging them and hanging them on racks. Finding myself near the storefront windows, I people-watched as I worked. But everyone I saw pass I wondered about. What kind of expression did they make when they came? Did they heave out ugly sounds, the same way Melody had? Or make the sexy, heavy breathing and occasional scintillating groans that Beck had?

Not that anything about anything I’d seen last night had been sexy. It’d been awful, and invasive, and embarrassing, and I was going to stop thinking about it.

Right…now.

My internal command didn’t work.

I kept wondering where he’d touched her that had set her off and how big he’d really been to impress her so much. Why hadn’t they kissed even once? Kissing had been the only half-decent thing I’d ever done with Dale, my first and only experience with the opposite sex. And why had going down on Beck made Melody wet? Blowjobs had always seemed like they’d be an annoying chore to me, not something that was actually enjoyable for the girl.

More and more thoughts like those plagued me for the rest of the day. I couldn’t even fully appreciate the praise Vivian gave me when she showed up to find what I’d done for her.

I have no idea why I was so obsessed with last night. I’m sure people had walked in on couples having sex plenty in their lives, and they’d never thought about it again. But this was a first for me. A big first. And it’d been so unlike the one sexual encounter I’d had myself. Dale had been the one to pressure me into it until I’d finally sighed and said, “Whatever,” so he’d shut up already. But last night, Beckett hadn’t pressured Melody at all. Actually, it’d been quite the other way around. I’d never seen a girl so bold and aggressive for sex before.

I was kind of jealous of her for going forth and making sure she got what she wanted, except I thought her whole approach had come off as sleazy and underhanded. Beckett had been way too drunk to be making any such decision, and she hadn’t listened to a single protest he’d made. I don’t think I’d ever be able to come onto a guy unless I knew one hundred percent beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted me back.

But I guess Melody was just tons more confident than I was. A bitch, in my opinion, but still admirably confident.

By the time I made it back home to my apartment that evening, my spinning brain had mellowed some, but I was still quiet and thoughtful as I unlocked my door and tromped up the steps.

We had a second floor apartment. The door to the outside opened on the ground level and immediately veered up a stairwell to our living room. One of the two openings into the living room led into the kitchen, while the other led into a hallway to get to the bedrooms and bathrooms. When I’d first found the place to rent, I thought the whole second-floor aspect had been cool. But after living here for six months, climbing these stairs every day was becoming a pain in the ass.

I was the first to make it back home, so I found my way into the kitchen to start supper. I wasn’t typically a big cooker, but I needed to keep my mind busy.

I chopped vegetables, browned beef, boiled potatoes. Before I knew it, everything was beginning to smell and look

a lot like stew. My dad had always been big on making stews and soups and chilis when I’d been growing up. That little link to home comforted my nerves and by the time roommates started trickling in, I think I was finally feeling more like myself again.

At least I thought I was, until supper started and Tess tossed me a concerned glance. “You doing okay, Bailey? You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

Honestly, no one had been talking about much. The guys had been regaling the girls with stories of their different gym teachers from grade school. Typically, I would’ve come up with some sarcastic, witty quip to knock one or both of the boyfriends’ egos down a peg or two, just for funsies, but tonight, not so much.

As everyone grew quiet and regarded me curiously, I lifted my face from my soup and said, “Hmm? I’m sorry, what?”

“Is everything okay?” Paige asked this time. Now both women looked concerned.

I nodded immediately. “Oh, sure. Just fine. Why?” No way was I going to tell them about my voyeuristic adventures the night before, and definitely not in front of their boyfriends. Logan and Jonah thought I was cracked already. Who knew how they’d react if they learned I was a freaky pervert too.

Everyone was still staring; my two friends seemed like they might want to try to resuscitate me as if I was flat lining or something. It freaked me out. Geesh, I wasn’t usually that much of a loudmouth at supper.

Wait, was I?

Oh, probably. Whatever. I still wasn’t acting that weird. I just needed the attention off me.

“Good Lord,” I squawked, making shooing motions at them. “Do I have a unicorn horn growing from my forehead or something? Why are you all gawking like that at me? I’m fine.”

“Sorry,” Tess rushed to transfer her gaze to her food. She’d always been sensitive to a person’s emotions like that. “You were just acting off.”

“Well, Off is my middle name, so how is that really unusual for me?”

The guys snickered. I flipped them off for agreeing with me so quickly. Jonah rolled his eyes and sent me his own bird in return.

“Did everything go okay for you at the party last night?” Paige asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

I swerved my attention to her and instantly scowled. She was a little too perceptive sometimes.

“Because I heard a rumor at the coffee shop today that some girl was raped there.”

My jaw dropped open. “Say what? Last night?”

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