AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swallowed guiltily, but still said, “Which door?”
He nodded. “We heard a noise, and I had this hunch…” He bowed his face and rubbed at his forehead. After wiping his mouth, he looked up again. “I knew it was you. How much did you hear?”
My eyes watered miserably as I flailed out a hand. “Oh, you know… Just that you probably hadn’t had sex in three years. And that Luke thought I should give you a pity fuck...before all the men in my family basically gave you their blessing to be with me, only for you to explain every single reason why you never could, even though you said, I quote, ‘I belong to Lucy,’ and that you’re falling for me. But that… That was about it. That’s all I heard.”
“Fallen,” he said softly.
I wrinkled my nose in confusion. “What?”
“I’m not falling,” he corrected. “I have already fallen.”
Some of my tears began to dribble down my cheek. I wiped at them miserably. “But I don’t see why,” I sobbed. “It sounds like all I do is make you miserable. Just being around me either fills you with guilt or makes you picture me having sex with your brother, or—”
“That’s not—aah...” He hissed out a breath and pressed a palm to his head. “I wish you hadn’t heard that,” he muttered. “I never should’ve said anything to them in the first place. I’ve had too much to drink and was just...spouting shit.”
“True shit,” I argued, hugging myself. “And I’m glad I did hear it. I like knowing what you’re going through, even if it’s not pleasant, or even if you can’t help thinking what you’re thinking, or for any reason. I want to be able to understand, so I can help. And if being around me so much is tormenting you, then—”
“It’s not tormenting me,” he swore savagely. “You are there—up front and center—every time I’m happy. I’m at peace around you. I come alive when I see you. I’m fucking in love with you, Lucy. Those are not bad things.”
“Then why—”
“Because something inside me keeps telling me it’s wrong to be this happy. It’s too soon. It’s disrespectful to Duke. I don’t deserve it. And every other reason under the sun. Jesus…” He rubbed his face and thumped his head back against the wall. “He hasn’t even been gone a full year yet. And you… Why does it have to be with you? Anyone else, maybe I could’ve just accepted it. But you… You’re the last woman he was with, and the only one who bore his child. You—you represent so much of him. And I… I just feel like I’m encroaching. Like...” He shook his head and sniffed, wiping a hand over his face. “I don’t know. I just feel wrong. And right. And confused. And just… I don’t know.”
“You do realize I was never his, right?” I said softly. “Duke and I didn’t date. We were never—”
“I know,” he whispered, his face filled with anguish as he refused to look up at me. “I’m sorry. I can’t figure out why I’m having such a hard time with this. I wish I could just make my brain stop fucking with me.”
“I think your feelings for me might’ve gotten tangled up with your grieving process.”
He looked at me but said nothing because I’m pretty sure he agreed.
“So what do we do now?” he finally asked.
I sighed, and then offered something I thought would help him but still hoped he would refuse. “Do you need some time away from me?”
“No,” he answered immediately, shaking his head with insistence. “I can’t handle the idea of someone else renting your garage, and Ava grew too much the last time I stayed away. I don’t want her to forget me. And I just…” He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I like being around you. You’re my oasis.”
I sniffed and wiped another tear from my eye, saying, “Even though I’m the reason you need an oasis in the first place?”
“You’re not the reason,” he promised. “I was suffering before I met you. You’ve made it...bearable.”
With a sad smile, I had to admit, “Well, I do like having you around.” Stretching my leg his way, I managed to tap his foot with my own. “And…” I bit my lip, then blurted, “Just so you know; you’re not alone. I, uh, I fell in love with you too.”
The look he sent me was full of pride and warmth and hope. Then he cracked off a laugh and shook his head. “God, what a drunk pair we make right now. We’re sitting on the floor of a bathroom, confessing our feelings for each other. Christ.” He rubbed his face again. “If I were sober right now, this is not how I’d tell you. Actually, I’d probably be too chicken shit to tell you at all.”
I grinned and hugged myself. “Then, thank God for alcohol,” I cheered. “Even though we solved absolutely none of our problems.”
“Eh.” He shrugged as if that wasn’t a big deal. “I feel better, anyway.” He tapped his toe companionably back against mine and smiled at me. “Just talking to you.”
“Me too,” I admitted softly, falling for him all over again.
His smile started to spread, only for him to suddenly frown. “Damn. I was supposed to be your designated driver tonight. I totally forgot. I was just—”
“Influenced by some shady characters like Luke and my brother and such?” I guessed, lifting my eyebrows.
He nodded. “Yeah. Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I waved a sloppy hand. “It’s fine. I’m sure we can find a ride elsewhere. I was just glad to see you looking so happy.”
