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Glaring at him, I turned away from those eyes and dimples and opened the refrigerator. Pulling out the container of orange juice, I poured myself a tall glass and only turned around once I’d swallowed half of it. My eyes went straight to my mom. “Sorry I missed breakfast.”
“It’s okay, baby. I knew that you were tired.” Her smile was gentle, full of understanding and I had this crazy urge to wrap my arms around her neck and just cry. If Harris hadn’t been sitting in our kitchen I might have done just that. Standing, she turned that same understanding smile on Harris. “I’m going to go check on the kids. Jesse and I might take them to see a movie. We’ll drop Trinity off later. That okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, she will like that. Thanks, Layla.”
“See you two later.” Mom passed me as she left the kitchen. Her hand brushed over mine for an all too brief moment before she went out the door.
If I hadn’t loved her so much and known that she thought she was trying to help, I would have hated her right then. For about a minute. She was supposed to be on my side and only my side. Damn it, I wanted to be mad at her. Maybe it would help me deal with all the anger and hurt that was sitting in my chest that was aimed at the guy sitting just a few feet from me right then.
“I didn’t get your email about stopping by First Bass until this morning.” His deep voice was quiet, cautious, as if he were afraid that speaking too loudly would make me do something crazy. Like throw my glass of juice at his head.
He was probably right to be cautious. I was very, very tempted to start throwing things. My juice, however, wasn’t on the list. A few knives, on the other hand, would have been a great way to relieve some of the pressure in my chest.
One of the bad things about having someone who once knew you inside and out, was that they could easily read what you might be thinking. The four years apart didn’t seem to have completely erased his ability to read me. Harris stood and moved toward me, moving the wooden block that housed the knives that were on the counter behind me, away from me.
I didn’t want to be close to him and took several steps back, which was probably what he’d wanted since it got me even farther away from sharp objects. He gave me a smirk and I shot him the finger. He was so lucky I wanted the rest of my juice or he would have been digging glass out of his forehead right then.
“It was really good to see you last night, Lu.”
I snorted in disbelief. “Yeah. I could tell.” I took another sip of juice and sat in the chair he’d just left. “You know, it’s been four years so my memory might be a little shady, but I don’t remember you being such a dickhead back then.”
His laugh was full of self-derision. “Yeah, well, I was. Just not to you.” Sighing loudly, he scrubbed his hands over his face and raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m a huge dickhead. The biggest, but I never wanted to be that way with you. And that I was last night, when I was so glad to see you, makes me want to kick my own ass, Lu. You are too special to me for me to have treated you so shitty.”
I just barely contained the urge to roll my eyes at him. If he thought he could use his charm to make me forgive and forget what happened the night before, he was out of his mind. Years of having people trying to kiss my ass had made me immune to it. Setting my glass down, I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the chair. “So you being here trying to make amends has nothing at all to do with Jenna’s being high enough to dance with the man in the moon?”
The fact that he had still been able to read me so well didn’t sting nearly as bad when I realized that I could still read him just as well. The way his forehead crinkled ever so slightly, the slight darkening of his eyes, and the way his mouth tightened just a little told me all I needed to know. My heart twisted and an all new hurt filled my chest. Damn it. I’d hoped I was wrong, that he had really come to apologize. I’d wanted him to be here for me, not to see if I was going to nark on Jenna.
“Right,” I muttered, refusing to let my chin tremble or my shoulders sag so much as a millimeter. “Well, I’ll make this visit short and sweet for you. I’m not going to tell Natalie about her sister’s…lovely social skills. And I’m not going to go running to Shane or Drake and tell them that their sister should be shipped off to rehab or better yet, Ohio, because of her new diet.” I stood and thrust my hands into my hoodie’s front pocket, clasping my hands together so that I wouldn’t be tempted to throw a punch at him. “But I’m going to make sure she doesn’t get asked to babysit any of my nieces. I’ll let Lana decide what to do about Drake and Shane.”
He raked his hands through his hair again. He did that when he was frustrated. Another thing I remembered all too clearly and I hated my mind for it, hated how my heart had helped store those memories of a boy who had been the most important person in my life. “Lucy, that’s not why I came…”
The glare I sent him stopped him from continuing. “Don’t make more of a fool of me than you already have, Harris. I realized that your loyalties are with Jenna and that’s cool. I’m glad she has someone on her side. I’m just wondering if her hero is also supplying her the shit that is going up her nose.”
Aquamarine eyes darkened with anger and his chest lifted as he sucked in a deep breath. Of course my eyes followed the movement, watching intently as the material of his T-shirt tightened even more for a moment. Damn, damn, and double damn. All the guys in the world and only one of them could make my mind go completely blank with something as simple as his breathing too deeply. “I wouldn’t do that, Lu. I don’t know who her supplier is, but it sure as hell isn’t me.”
Relief that he hadn’t been giving her the drugs nearly made me lightheaded. I wasn’t sure how I would have handled it if he had been. After seeing what my biological father had done for drugs, I had always promised myself that I would never let them into my lif
e in any shape or form. That included friends that were into them.
“She got into them when she started hooking up with the chick she’s with now. I’m not a big fan of Tessa, but Jenna seems to be happy with her.” Harris blew out a long, hard sigh. “Look, Lucy, I’m going to get Jenna some help. She’s agreed to go into rehab, but only if I don’t tell her brothers and sister. If you tell Drake or Shane, then she’s going to back out.”
“That’s a total copout,” I told him, pissed off that he would pretend to believe that bullshit. “She’s looking for any excuse not to get help. I’m not going to sit back and watch her rage her destructiveness on everyone who cares about her. Drake and Shane can help her. Especially Drake.”
Harris shook his head. “She’s not trying to get out of it. Jenna is ready to get clean. Just give me a chance to help her. If she doesn’t follow through, then you can tell anyone you want. All I’m asking is for a little time.”
“My god.” I laughed and turned away from him, unable to look at him. Was he serious? “What are you going to do, Harris? Do you think you can just take her to rehab and she’s going to be instantly better? It doesn’t work like that. You know that better than anyone else. I can’t promise you that I won’t say anything. I just can’t.”
“Lucy, please.”
I turned to face him again, meeting his eyes boldly. I couldn’t let him sugarcoat this. He was much smarter than that. I couldn’t let him get his hopes up thinking Jenna was going to get better with just a little rehabilitation. She needed more than that, and yeah, she deserved more than that. The girl needed her family around her, supporting her through her recovery, and a hell of a lot more than what Harris was going to give her.
I had to make him see that. Had to at least try or I couldn’t have lived with myself, and the consequences that were sure to follow. “Let’s say Jenna gets clean and comes home. But we both know that unless she is really ready to kick her addiction she will go straight back to getting high, it’s just a matter of time. What are you going to do if Trinity comes over to visit you at the apartment and happens to find Jenna’s stash? What if she thinks it’s candy and eats it?”
I was being harsh. The very idea of Trinity—a little girl I loved as much as I loved my nieces—hurt, because of something so idiotic as Jenna leaving her drugs lying around nearly destroyed me. Harris loved his little sister more than anything or anyone in the world, and she idolized her big brother. His face paled under his tan complexion, but I went on. “I know she comes to visit you all the time. She loves you just as much as you love and adore her. How will you live with yourself if your little sister dies from a drug overdose because you didn’t have the balls to tell Jenna’s sister and brothers? Where will you hide when your dad finds out you knew and didn’t tell him?”
“That isn’t going to happen,” he murmured in a gruff voice. “I know Jenna better than you do. She’s ready to get clean.”
“No, Harris. You’re ready for her to get clean. Jenna is nowhere near ready for that.” I gave him a small, sad smile. “Good luck trying to help her. You’re going to need it.”
