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But…what about what I want?
Yet, for some reason, I held my tongue when his eyes became imploring once again. “They sounded excited, Lu. Nat was practically bouncing when she called me earlier. Let’s just see what they have up their sleeves first, okay?”
I put a smile on my face, while inside I was finding it hard to breathe. When I looked back on it later, I knew that was the moment I should have opened my mouth and put a stop to it all. Should have put my foot down and fought for what I really wanted. Instead, a simple “okay” left me, and I couldn’t really regret it when his eyes filled with relief.
--
An hour later, our living room was full of my mom, his stepmom, and Au
nt Emmie. There were binders spread on the coffee table, which had long since overflowed, and some were now on the floor. I didn’t think they’d had time to do this overnight since Harris only asked me to marry him the day before, so I had to wonder just how long Harris had been planning to propose and how long the mothers had known about it.
Each heavy binder contained a different wedding “issue” they all said I needed to decide on. But there were so many things to choose from that it seemed a bit daunting. One in particular had my eyes narrowing. Napkins? Why was there an entire overflowing binder on just napkins? Why did that really even matter? No one cared about freaking napkins.
I felt a little dizzy as all three women talked on both sides of me, but it was like they weren’t even talking to me.
Harris sat in a chair across from his stepmom, watching her more than anyone else. I could see how happy he was because she seemed so thrilled about all of this. All three of them were ecstatic, actually, and I had to admit I hadn’t seen my mother smiling so much since before she found out about my cutting.
Things had been strained between us ever since she found out, even though I’d tried hard not to let them be. She had been so mad and scared that I knew I’d let her down, and I didn’t know how to fix our once-close relationship. But the strain wasn’t between us in that moment. She kept touching my arm or my knee as she spoke to Aunt Emmie and Natalie. It felt natural, just like it was before everything came falling down around me when my darkest secret had been so forcefully thrown in her face.
“What do you think, honey?” Mom asked as she turned her brown eyes on me.
It was the first time any of the three had actually asked for my input, but I had been so caught up in enjoying the tension-free atmosphere that I didn’t even know what they had been talking about. “Sorry, Mom. I must have spaced out. What do I think of what?”
Amusement filled her eyes. “I think satin would look best for your wedding dress, but Nat thinks tulle and lace.”
“And on that note, I’m going to go drag Jace’s ass out of bed and hit the gym,” Harris said with a forced laugh. “I don’t think I’m supposed to know about the wedding dress.”
“But…” I started to protest. Don’t leave me alone with these people, I silently begged him with my eyes. You did this! Stay and help me.
He either didn’t see my plea or chose to ignore it, because he came around the back of the couch I was sitting on with my mom and Aunt Emmie and leaned over to kiss me. It was a quick, chaste kiss, because my mom shooed him away almost before his lips touched mine. Giving me a wink, he backed away from me. “Text me later, sweetness. I’ll bring home dinner.”
“You’re not working tonight?” Nat asked with a frown.
“Nope. Barb and Nate have it covered.” He gave a wave and disappeared into our bedroom.
“Finally,” Aunt Emmie grumbled and moved so that she was sitting on the floor in front of the twenty-plus binders. “I thought he was never going to leave.”
She pulled out a black binder I hadn’t even noticed until right then, but it was completely empty. “So, let’s start with the easy decisions. Tell me where you want to have the wedding, and I’ll go ahead and make that happen.”
That was one of the easy decisions? I had no clue where I even wanted to get married. They had already told me that the moon was the only limitation I had for where we couldn’t have it. But even then, I was sure my honorary aunt could pull some strings with NASA if I truly wanted to marry Harris in outer space.
“I want Harris to be a part of that decision,” I finally told her when nothing came to mind quickly.
“If it were me and I were marrying Dev all over again, I would want to have the ceremony in Paris.” Natalie released a wistful sigh. “I don’t regret getting married in Vegas, but if I could do it all over again, we would have a big wedding with all the trimmings.”
“Not me,” my mom said with a shake of her head, causing her long, cinnamon hair to sway in its ponytail. “If Jesse and I did it over, I would still want to get married in Vegas, but I would want a big reception.”
“Marrying Nik on the beach was always my dream,” Aunt Emmie said with a shrug of her small shoulders. “It was a great wedding, but I wouldn’t recommend getting married on the beach to anyone else. All that damn sand, and what if it had rained? Sure, we had tents up, but it really wasn’t all that practical.”
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that where Shane and Harper got married is out of the question,” Nat muttered as she made a few notes in her phone.
“Fucking right,” Mom and Aunt Emmie said at the same time, and I saw my aunt shudder. Shane and Harper’s wedding had been perfect, which was why their baby shower for Violet had been held at the same venue. But the memories everyone had of that day had ruined that particular location for all of us, especially Aunt Em.
Behind us, the bedroom door opened, and Harris came out with his gym bag hanging over his shoulder. Before he could start for the door, his stepmom waved him over. “Lucy said she wants to include you in the venue decision. Where would you like to get married?”
He shrugged, and I wanted to punch him in the stomach. “I already told you, Nat. I don’t care where. Just get me a tux and point me to the front of the church. All that matters is that Lucy walks down the aisle to me.”
The urge to punch him faded—for the most part—and I melted with happiness all over again. He bent and kissed her cheek, then did the same to my mom before dropping a kiss on the top of my head. “Later, sweetness.”
