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All I could do was nod weakly. She had to guide me to the front of the store where she bought the test, and then we walked back to the hotel. We went up to the room I was sharing with Kin. My friend didn’t even budge as we both walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Mom stood at the mirror, keeping her eyes anywhere but on me as I peed on the digital test. “This is the brand I used when I thought I was pregnant with the twins. It will tell you in plain words if you’re pregnant or not, so there aren’t any misunderstandings.”
My hands shook as I replaced the cap over the tip I had just peed all over and set it on the back of the toilet before I washed my hands. I didn’t understand how she could be so calm when I was suddenly so scared it was hard to fucking breathe.
Pregnant? Could I really be pregnant?
No. It wasn’t possible. I was on the pill, damn it. I took it religiously because I wasn’t ready to be a mother yet. I still had school, and Harper was constantly on me to take over for Gordon now that he was talking about retiring. She’d been impressed with the work I did during his absence, and I had to admit I’d enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would. All my life I’d thought I would end up as an author, but after working as an editor for just two weeks, I’d realized maybe I wanted a different career.
How could I juggle school, a full-time job, and a baby? When would I sleep? When would I have time for Harris?
“Time’s up,” Mom murmured a few minutes later, pulling me out of my inner misery. I met her gaze in the mirror and realized she had been watching me the entire time I had been stuck in my head. “Lucy…it will be okay. I promise you. Just don’t worry, baby. I’ll be right here to help you through whatever happens.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried to nod, but I wasn’t sure I did or not. My fingers trembled so badly I nearly dropped the test. Tightening my hold on it, I lifted it.
Pregnant.
My heart stopped beating, and I suddenly felt dizzy. But it was with relief instead of disappointment. The stick fell to the floor, and I covered my stomach protectively with both hands as I looked up at Mom again. Happy tears filled my eyes because all my worries held zero power in the face of reality. I was pregnant. A part of Harris had come alive inside me and was growing stronger with every breath I inhaled.
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered and laughed at how perfect those two words sounded.
“Really?” Mom whispered with wonder in her voice. “Really?”
I nodded, tears running down my face. “I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to be a mom!”
“I’m going to be a grandmother.” She laughed at the idea, then started giggling uncontrollably. “You realize what this means?”
“What?” I couldn’t figure out what she was finding so amusing about all of this.
“Nat’s going to be a grandmother too. And she’s barely thirty.”
Rolling my eyes, I bent to pick up the pregnancy test and held it against my chest. “Please don’t tell her yet. I want to tell Harris before I tell anyone else.” Oh, crap… I was going to have to tell Dad. My eyes widened as I began to freak out a little. “Don’t tell Daddy. Please, just keep this between the two of us for now.”
“You mean the three of us,” she said and touched a hand to my still flat stomach.
“The three of us,” I agreed in total awe as it hit me all over again that I was carrying life deep inside me.
“Don’t worry, baby. I won’t blow this for you. My lips are sealed. You can tell your dad when you’re ready.”
--
I tried to push the early morning’s events out of my head so I could focus on everything else. I was spending the rest of the morning with all the females in my life at the hotel’s spa. They had a really kick-ass makeup artist who was going to do all of our makeup, and the salon was closed to anyone who wasn’t there for the wedding so they could do everyone’s hair.
After lunch, I gave out the gift bags Harris and I had chosen together to everyone in our bridal party. For my nieces and Trinity, we’d had necklaces made with little puzzle pieces as the charms. Each girl got a single puzzle piece, and when they were all put together, they made a silver heart. For Mia and Violet, I’d chosen little pearl bracelets.
The boys had been harder to find gift ideas for. My brothers and Jagger were the ushers, and Mason was the ring bearer. I was praying the twins didn’t cause too much of a commotion. Hoping to distract the boys from wanting to cause trouble, we had gotten them white headsets so they could look like actual security—and their mothers had the connecting headpieces so they could keep an ear open for what the twins and Jagger were doing at all times. Mason was the easiest to please, with a teddy bear and children’s book that explained how important being a ring bearer really was.
I gave Kin and Jenna silk robes with #TeamLucy stitched across the left breast, and Harris was supposed to be giving Jace a bottle of his favorite whiskey that they’d had at the whiskey tasting for the bachelor party.
But even the distraction of giving gifts that put smiles on everyone’s faces didn’t keep me from thinking about the baby for long.
Soon it was time for me to get ready. I was happy to sit in a chair for the hour it took to have my hair fixed and makeup applied. It meant I didn’t have to pay attention to anything or anyone else around me, and I could actually think about how I was going to tell Harris we were having a baby.
A hundred different ideas went through my head, but none of them felt right. I hated keeping this news to myself. Hated that I knew something spectacular was happening even at that moment and I wasn’t sharing it with him. I wanted Harris to know now, not later.
“If she has to apply that lipstick again, she might stab you in the eye with the lip liner,” Kin muttered dryly as she sat in the chair beside me getting the finishing touches of her own makeup done. “She’s already fixed your lips twice.”
I instantly released my lip and let out a resigned sigh. There was no way I could tell Harris yet. The wedding was in half an hour, and he was already at the church. This wasn’t exactly something that could be texted or said in a two-minute phone call. I wanted to look at his face when I told him he was going to be a father.
