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Just because I’m tackling this head on, doesn’t mean I’ll look him in the eyes. Coming back to this class was a big achievement in itself and when I place my bag down and sit on the chair, I smile to myself.
Pulling my pen and notebook out, I finally look up to find his eyes planted on me, I keep eye contact with him for three seconds before I avert my eyes and look away, tapping my pen three times on top of my notebook.
Taking another deep breath, I wait patiently for the room to fill and then for him to start talking.
If I just concentrate on writing all the notes and pretending that his voice isn’t so deep and well, male, then everything will be fine.
I duck my head and watch my hand fly over the paper as I write every single thing down that he says, trying to ignore all the whispers around me. I can feel my ears start to burn and I shift in my seat knowing that someone is staring at me.
Having Jess in this class makes me feel a little more secure but because she sits at the back with Scott and his teammates there’s no way she can hear what’s being said. I can though and I try not to let it get to me, instead I just concentrate on writing my notes down.
Ignoring the first time someone calls my name is easy but when it’s repeated again and again, louder each time, it gets my attention.
Gritting my teeth, I turn around and squint my eyes at the person who is calling me.
Raising my brow at the football jock, I silently ask him what he wants. He puts one of his fingers on either side of his mouth and pushes his tongue between them wiggling it about and closing his eyes, making moaning noises as all of his friends laugh at him.
At me.
“Pig.” I shake my head and turn back around to face the front.
My eyes clash with the lecturer’s again; I can’t even remember what his name is.
He frowns, looking from me and then to the pig of a football player and walks a few steps up towards us. “If you’re going to make gestures of that nature in my lecture, then you can leave and not come back,” he says, keeping his eyes on the football play
er for a beat and then looking around the room full of students.
He offers me a slight smile when his eyes move to me before walking back down to the front of the room.
My cheeks heat with embarrassment when I realize that he witnessed the whole thing so I duck my head again and scribble down the last of what he says before he dismisses everyone.
I wait for the majority of the students to leave before I pack my bag and stand up.
“Miss Johnson?” The lecturer asks when I’m half way down the stairs. I freeze on the spot, not expecting to be called on. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Erm...” My eyes flit around the room that’s emptying out and my hands start to shake at the prospect of being in a room with him alone.
“I’m just heading to the coffee shop, maybe we can walk and talk?” He asks giving me a reassuring smile, sensing my unease. He picks up his messenger bag, waving at the door for me to go through first.
I let out a breath of relief and walk quickly to the door.
Talking to him on my own still scares me but it’s what I’m trying to achieve, to step out of my comfort zone and do things that I used to be able to do.
We both stay silent as we walk out of the building and down the steps. Keeping my head down, I get lost in my own thoughts and startle when he speaks.
“I’m glad you decided to not drop my class,” he says, coming to a stop in the middle of the path. “Mrs. Gill said that you’re one of the best students in that class.”
“I... I’m sorry?” I ask and shake my head. Why would he say that?
“After you know... what happened...” His eyes go wide and he runs his hands through his dirty blond hair, clearly distressed.
I frown, my heart beat speeding up. Does he know something?
“I’m not sure I know what you mean...” I shake my head, still not knowing his name.
“Thomas,” he says with a kind smile.
“Thomas... I’m really not sure what you mean. Why would I drop the class?” I ask, my eyes wandering around us. I hate that I can’t maintain eye contact with him.
