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Cinq
I don’t understand Jessica’s stillness. She’s quiet and for her, quiet is not normal. She’s facing away from me as I hold her. Her breathing is even and both of our heartrates have slowed. I couldn’t help but accept every bit of our match and allow the bonding. The lovemaking was so one-sided due her lack of nanos, but she seemed to enjoy our union.
“We’ll need to let the others come back soon,” she says at last.
“I’ve told them. Nilt has found a vein of something unpronounceable he wants to dig up. Quin out exploring, and S’Tou is reading the latest story I sent him.
She looks back at me. “You downloaded stories, too?”
“I did. Several examples of English stories were included so I accepted them, too. All of us want to learn more about Earth than what we picked up during formal education.”
“It’s nice you’re sharing,” she says, settling in and forward facing again.
“I am a good person you know.” I grin at her quiet laughter. “I know you think I’m arrogant, and in some ways I am. I was good at what I did for Ghar and our people, and I’m capable of always protecting you.” I run my hand up and down her arm, her soft skin a thrill to touch. “I’ll be yours forever and you’ll be mine.”
“Um, that’s beautiful.” She turns completely to face me this time, twisting in my arms. “Cinq, you are an amazing lover. You’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met and I’ve met S’Tou, too. You’ve been kind and risked a lot to learn English for me.”
She’s caressing my face and I want her to stop from saying anything more but have a feeling she won’t. “And?”
“We can have fun like this, but one day, I’ll go back to Earth and unless you’re coming with me, I’ll be going alone.”
My heart hurts for Jessica because what she wants is impossible. I look into her eyes, aware of how they’ll grow less sated and stormier with every word I utter. “You don’t seem to understand the law and I think I’ve been very clear. I can’t help you do anything but go back to Ghar or the colony for Earthers without me.”
Sadness flits across her expression. “I know about the Lesser world thing. I’ll deal with that later. Even if I went to a Gharian waiting area, you’d stay here because of your criminal status, huh?”
“Precisely that.”
“You can’t forgo your nanos altogether? Go back home where there’s real food, running water, and something more than a hole in the ground to shit in? You really do want to stay here for the rest of your life?”
Well, when she spells out my life here, the circumstances don’t appeal at all. “No, I don’t want to live here and I’m already not supposed to have any sort of nanos.”
“So you can never go home?” She caresses my chest as if to console me.
“No, I can’t.”
Jessica’s body softens and she closes her eyes. “All right. We will need to think of a way to where we can both get what we want, brainstorm how to have your sentence forgiven and go home. Then think of getting the empire or whatever to allow Earthers to return to our planet. So many of us were taken. The system has to be overrun with us.”
She keeps talking but I can’t listen anymore. She has no concept of how cold the emperor is. How devoted he is to following the laws with no exception. S’Tou says Emperor Eldan softened with the death of Empress Jeul, but I think he’s wrong. The emperor’s life of comfort and privilege removes him from the consequences of his edicts. He doesn’t care about us because he’s unable to.
“…and then I told Nilt how S’Tou is the better lover but I’d have to have sex with you to be sure.”
Jessica calling my friend her lover jolts my attention. “I’m sorry, what the pless did you say?”
“Now you care, huh?” Jessica sits up on one elbow. “Thanks to your scowling, I though you hated my ideas.” She rolls away and gets off of the bed. “Turns out, you just weren’t listening to me.”
Sitting up, I get up to go to her. “I can run back the conversation in my mind. My system stores everything and it’s accessible.”
“Yeah, my every word and move being recorded in your brain is not creepy at all,” she chides me. “Don’t bother. I’m taking a poor excuse for a shower. You can tell the other guys we’re done in here.”
Jessica disappears into the shower and I crash back onto the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I replay what she’d said while I was musing about the emperor. Nothing of what she’d brought up was feasible, but then, brainstorming isn’t supposed to be perfect every time.
She did mention a good point about asking Aard to transport us from this planet. But then, where would we go? I get to the part where she’d asked me the same question twice, figuring out I wasn’t listening. I sigh and roll off the bed, telling the others via innercoms we’re no longer in the sleeping area. Which is exactly how I phrase things. They don’t need to know what happened, though I’m sure they could guess.
Each man checks in with me, Quin routing his answer through S’Tou’s communications to avoid hitting the Vahdmoshi communications network. They’re all busy with their own projects and I appreciate them letting me know their status. I don’t just worry about Jessica’s safety, but theirs’ too. All three are good men who were caught in bad circumstances.
Jessica distracts me when she exits the shower covered in a towel. “I don’t suppose I need a wrap when it’s just us.” She picks up her formerly discarded clothes, sorting out an item made up of stretchy straps and fabric. “Still, I’m not quite used to all this.”
“Do whatever makes you comfortable.” I stand, stretching, and still feeling good despite our conflict. “I’ll clean up, too, and maybe we can talk.”
