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Jessica
Several days pass without finding anyone willing to take us anywhere. I’ve offered to stay behind, with or without Cinq so the others can go. Both Quin and Nilt refuse to leave until someone will take all four of us. I have a feeling they’ll change their minds when the days slip into weeks. They like me, but love me? Nah. We’re friends, but that’s all.
Cinq is a different story. I almost hate making love with him because both of us are falling deeper into the can’t live without ‘em stage. I’m probably deluding myself in thinking I have a choice. My system double checks with me every day or so asking if I’m sure I want to delay our match.
Yes. I love Cinq. I’m in love with him. But if there’s a chance I can return home? I’m taking it and am painfully aware he can’t land on the planet surface with me.
And yes, I agree neither one of us are currently allowed back home. But if there’s the slightest possibility I could visit my mom one last time? Hell yeah, I’ll lobby the emperor hard for whatever I can get, and nag his Earther wife into submission, too.
As it is, I stay borderline content with “calling” my mom via the nanos’ innercoms every day or so. I’ve thought about contacting work, checking on my friends, asking if anyone’s tossed the stuff out of my apartment, yet.
But honestly? It’s easier to ignore everything else to focus on what’s in front of me. When we’re in more comfortable surroundings and able to lock the bedroom door, I’ll stay in bed all day and cry. Until then, I want to explore a little, study the place, and get ready to leave.
“Thank you for helping us pack,” Quin says, putting a hand on my back as I fold clothes. “You didn’t have to.”
“Maybe not, but I didn’t want to sit around and watch you all work.” I hold up a shimmery and light shirt. “Besides, how else could I talk you out of this? It’s gorgeous.” I move the fabric this way and that, letting the iridescence glisten in the artificial light.
“Sure. It’s yours. My father bought it for me so I’d look less like him and more like my mother.”
I give him the side eye but he’s busy sorting through shorts. There’s a whole lot of family issues my curiosity is begging me to ask about, but I don’t think so. I’m somewhat certain his dad didn’t care for the predominance of gray instead of Quzi colors or for the less than beaky nose. I take a stack of shirts he’s put in the pack pile. “His loss because your wings are amazing. The way the shimmery blue edges each feather is really attractive.”
He stretches out a wing, looking down it like a bodybuilder does a popped calf muscle. “Do you really think so? Quzi have several more colors than I do, so I’m not sure.”
“My art teacher always said less is more.” I put another stack of clothes in the case. “Your colors are perfect for you.”
He pauses as a smile lights up his face. “I appreciate your words. I can also see why Cinq loves you.”
Oh lord. My cheeks burn, probably redder than my hair. “Well, I guess. He hasn’t kicked me out of the habitat, yet.”
“Nor will he. Any man would be lucky to have a mate like you.” He closes the lid to the case. “In fact, you’re part of the reason Nilt and I want to rejoin society. We want to find an Earther like you, maybe less argumentative. Someone who’ll love us for who we are and not for our novelty value.”
I swear, I’m not going to cry. “That’s the sweetest thing to say, mostly.” I ease over to Quin, giving him a hug. “You two have hinted you wanted to find romance out there.” I let go of him and take a step back. “But didn’t mention how it’s because of me.”
“Yeah,” Nilt’s voice comes in from the doorway. “We felt like why let him be the only one suffering?”
Turning to him, I laugh. “Way to ruin a tender moment, buddy.”
“What can I say?” he teases. “I didn’t want Quin getting all the love.”
I go over and hug him, too. “I suppose we all feel our time here is close to ending.”
“It is.” Nilt gives me one last squeeze and lets go. “Cinq is still searching for someone who’ll take me and Quin anywhere we want to go. I’d like to live on Ghar despite the staring. Sixth world people have resettled there more in the past several years, so I may not be the oddity I once was.”
“I’m not returning to Vahd,” Quin says. His eyes cloud when Nilt’s do.
“What?” I ask, then send, Don’t leave me out.
I’m thinking Tardar Nest, Quin answers. Everyone is different there. I can blend in with the displaced Quzi better.
I stay quiet about Tardar Nest because I don’t want to go there. The place sounds like Earth Lite where everyone is divided between help everyone and help ourselves. I’ve had enough of division and just want a quiet place to study and talk to my mom until she passes.
No Cinq? Nilt asks.
Of course, Cinq, I reply. He can go wherever he wants, I guess.
You haven’t talked about his wishes? Quin sends.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Oh, we’ve talked. A lot, but he doesn’t know what he wants, yet.
