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Chapter 8
I was more excited about the trip with Alivia than I probably should have been. I tried to tell myself it was no big deal, and we were just friends doing a friend thing, but that didn’t stop my heart from pounding when I thought about her.
“Hey, we’re going to the beach again on Saturday, you in?” Natalie asked on Thursday night as we had dinner together.
“I already have plans,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “Alivia asked me to go with her to look for some stuff for the inn.”
Natalie opened her mouth to say something and then closed it.
“So, I’ve been keeping my mouth shut about this, but you do know that you have a thing for her? And she has a thing for you?” I almost choked on my penne alla vodka.
“What?” I asked when I could breathe again.
“You didn’t think you were being sneaky about it, were you? I mean, you’re not very discreet.”
I mean, I thought I’d been discreet. Guess not?
“Oh,” I said. “So, I need to tell you something, but I need you to not tell anyone else.”
“I can’t lie to Em,” she said immediately.
“That’s fair. Okay, you can’t tell anyone besides her. And she can’t tell anyone, especially Linley.”
“About?” she prompted.
“Remember that one-night-stand I had last year?”
Natalie seemed confused for a second.
“But what does that have to do with—Oh.”
“Yeah, it was Alivia. We had this like, incredible night and I didn’t think I was ever going to see her again and then I did and I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and now everything is really complicated.” The words came out in a rush.
“Wow,” Natalie said. “What are the chances?”
“I know. I know!” That was the thing I couldn’t get over.
“But if you like her and she likes you, I don’t see what’s stopping you from being together?” she said.
“Firstly, I’ve been lying to you all about knowing her. Second, she’s planning my cousin’s wedding and Linley has enough going on without me complicating shit. Third, Alivia might not even be here for that long. She keeps talking like she’s just passing through for the summer. So what, we get involved, I completely fall for her, and then she goes off into the sunset, taking my already broken heart with her? I literally can’t handle that.” Fourth, my heart was too fucked up from my last relationship.
That was the real problem. My poor, pathetic heart was so not ready to get out there again. I wasn’t willing to risk getting fucked over. It wasn’t worth it, at least not right now. There were just too many things standing in the way of me and Alivia being a thing, each more compelling than the last.
Natalie nodded. “Yeah, I get that. I mean, I was in a similar situation, but love found me anyway. I’m not saying that it will be the same for you, but what I am saying is to keep an open mind. Things might seem impossible right now, but love can find a way.”
I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say that was all well and good and had worked out for her because she was my friend and I didn’t want to shit on her happiness. It had worked out for Natalie and Em, but it was like lightning striking the same spot twice. It didn’t happen that often.
“I’m glad to have an explanation for all the sexual tension going on between you two. And I have to ask: was it good?”
I closed my eyes as memories of that steamy night with Alivia flooded my brain.
“There aren’t even words,” I said. “I think I’m still recovering.”
“Mmm, I know what that’s like,” she said, and I knew she was talking about Em. I mean, the apartment was small and I had definitely heard them before. Em wasn’t exactly quiet during certain…activities.
We both laughed into our pasta. I was glad to have friends I could talk about anything with, including sex.
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