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“We’ll go and split a slice and a soda,” Juno announces and grabs her tassel-explosion purse.
My cousins drive me several blocks to the pizza shop. Their green clunker’s air conditioner has asthma, coughing cold air at various intervals. Still better than walking in this heat.
I enter the pizzeria to find Penny waiting with her hands placed angrily on her hips.
“We need to speak.”
My cousins decide they’ll hold off on ordering anything in case I get fired.
“I’d rather share a burger, anyway,” Zelda loudly whispers.
Following Penny to her back office, I wave at a few kids psyched about a clown in their midst. Their parents get excited, too. Probably because if their children are focused on me, they’ll be able to spend quality time with their phones.
“It has come to my attention that you were at Pam’s Pizza yesterday,” Penny spits out before adding in her most brokenhearted voice, “As a customer.”
“That wasn’t my fault, ma’am,” I barf in her direction, always lying well under pressure. “See, I was just standing on the street, trying not to burn since I’m so pale. Then, this huge man came over and started aggressively flirting. Feeling intimidated, I’d do just about anything to keep him from getting angry. I think he’s a biker. Not one of those wannabes, either. No, he’s in a motorcycle gang like you see on the news.”
Penny’s eyes widen, loving the dramatic yarn I spin.
“By the time he insisted we eat in that dump,” I continue while fanning myself since her office is begging for a fan, “I was nearly crying in fear. I tried telling him no, of course. But how can I deny such a scary man? They don’t make them so big in Fork Falls. I simply didn’t know what to do.”
“Huh,” she mumbles, unsure how to harness her now useless rage.
“And I did tell him several times that I worked here. You can’t even imagine the dirty looks I got from Pam’s Pizza employees after they heard that. But I couldn’t lie, no matter how scared I was.”
“They were angry, huh?” Penny asks, smirking. “That Pam bitch has always been jealous of my success.”
Nodding, I sigh deeply. “You must think I’m terrible, but I was just so intimidated by him.”
“No, no, I understand. West Mercer is a very large man.”
“He wasn’t violent, just pushy. I have no experience with such people. I spend most of my time around kids.”
Penny nods sympathetically. “No, I understand. I was once bullied by his mother. I understand what kind of people they are. And you’re new in town. How could you know?”
“I understand if you can’t have me work here.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she says and gestures for the door. “We’re so excited for this new phase of Penny’s Best Pizzeria. You’re an important element of its success.”
I exit the back hall and smile at my cousins, who stop ignoring the hostess and ask to be seated. Meanwhile, I start pulling out props from my supply bag. Of course, Penny stands too close and supervises me.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why does this Pam woman try to ruin things for you? Is it just jealousy?”
“Exactly. My mother’s always been that way,” Penny explains before checking on a customer.
I imagine my own mother. Would Shania Fontaine and I have fought like cats and dogs if she hadn’t died like a moron? Yes, probably.
But she would also be here for my big debut as Lexi the Clown at the second-best pizzeria in a tiny West Virginia town. Gary Toomey would no doubt be here now if I ever mentioned where I was or what was happening.
Their absence isn’t a dealbreaker. I have the cousins who count the pepperoni on their slice of pizza and decide who gets what. They offer the kind of family support a girl can rely on.
Plus, there’s the newly arrived beefcake who causes the hostess to literally swoon. Yeah, she’s definitely seen his dick. Wouldn’t be surprised if Penny has gotten a gander at it, too.
Of course, if West doesn’t screw up my debut, I might be the next gal in line to worship his mighty giggle stick.
