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“So are you, but Ma thinks you’re great,” I text back. “How do I get that to happen with Alexis?”
“She might not be the one.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m not trying to. I think she’s terrible and eats out of the garbage.”
Sighing, I type, “Val?”
“Pa’s in the crapper.”
“I need advice.”
“In every way. You’re a failure.”
“I love Alexis.”
“Gross.”
“If you fall in love one day, I promise to ruin things. It’ll be my full-time job to destroy your happiness.”
“Well, in that case, fuck off.”
“Asshole.”
“Maybe you need to give this Toomey chick space. I noticed them in line at Wendy’s once. They get really flustered by decisions. So, like, stop bullying her with your tiny dick. Let her breathe without dodging your toxic jizz.”
“I feel like there was decent advice hidden in your bullshit.”
“Doubtful.”
“Is Pa out of the crapper yet?”
“Mom made macho bean burritos. He might sleep in there tonight.”
“In that case, Ma only wanted two kids. Except you were a boy, and she already had a better one. She’s never really wanted you.”
After a pause, he replies, “Ma just said I’m her favorite son.”
“Does she know you’re texting me?”
“No, I said it was Tuesday.”
“She should be home tonight.”
“She isn’t, though,” he texts back. “She’s probably getting Jeremy’s name tattooed on the inside of her ass crack. I’ve decided to admire our sister’s romantic nature.”
Rolling my eyes, I set aside my phone and think about the last few days. They were outstanding for me. And I think I made them better for Alexis.
But stepping back from those stellar memories, I think about what life would have been like for her if I hadn’t shown up that day on the street. Alexis would be dealing with a new job and home. She isn’t super close to her cousins. I sense she lived away from the Toomey family for most of her life. She’s an outsider in a new place.
She sleeps in someone else’s place. She’s always broke and never in control. Her cousins, Penny, and I have been calling all the shots.
Putting myself in Alexis’s shoes, I picture those kids tugging at me while wanting their faces painted. And their parents demanding I do a different balloon animal. And an elderly person telling a story about the first time they saw a butterfly, only to lose their place and start over. And Penny watching my every move.
I see myself with no car or money. My idiot mom is dead. My loser dad doesn’t help me. I beg for people’s leftovers. I’m impressed by a steak-and-potato dinner. I think this chain hotel in Rockwell is fancy. I’m dating a handsome dangerous man who I fear will dump me if I do anything wrong.
So much fricking stress!Walking in her shoes, even in my head, leaves me wanting to go home and hang out with my parents to settle my nerves.
