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WEST, AKA THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE HUH
Okay, what?
Well, first things first, Alexis has the most beautiful blue eyes. I’d always wondered what hid behind her black plastic glasses years ago. Now, I know. That’s fricking aces!
And knowing she isn’t Amanda but Alexis answers another long-held question. I’m also relieved she doesn’t have the Toomey last name. Doesn’t suit someone of her high quality.
Okay, but how can she not remember me? I made an impression! Her family must have told Alexis how I hounded them years ago about her. But she just forgot all that?
While Alexis is in the restroom, I struggle with how I could be so unmemorable to the one girl I could never forget.
But then, Alexis returns to the table, looking sexy as hell with her smudged eyeliner and flushed cheeks. I temporarily forget to be upset while I admire her. We soon order a supreme pizza and a pitcher of orange soda.
“I looked for you,” I say when she only smiles at me.
“When was this?”
“Five years ago, after we met.”
“I think I’d remember if I met someone who looked like you.”
Despite her smile, I can’t stop frowning. “But we did meet, so you didn’t remember when you met someone who looked like me.”
“Don’t be upset. I might have been PMSing that day,” Alexis explains, wearing a sweet smile. “I tend to block out the worst days.”
I flashback to my little sister, Tuesday, who left me scarred and scared after a terrible bout of homicidal hormones one month. I guess women can get rather irrational during menstruation.
“It’s God’s fault!” Tuesday hollered after I whined to our ma about the claw marks on my arm. “It’s even in the Bible. Something about Eve eating the head dude’s favorite apple or some shit. Anyway, not my fault. I’m sorry West cried, but he ought to be more careful next time.”
Though I swear to this very day that I did not, in fact, fricking cry, my sister refuses to admit her lies.
“I asked your family about you,” I tell Alexis when our salads arrive. “Wait, when did we order salads?”
“I asked earlier and tapped the menu when your ex-girlfriend was taking our order.”
“Di and I just dated. She was never my girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry. Did she break your heart?”
“God, no. I could have had her in my bed forever if I wanted.”
“Then, why didn’t you?” Alexis asks and leans out of the booth to better see Di nearby. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Nothing. I just don’t want a girlfriend.”
“Gay?” Alexis asks with the most innocent expression planted on her heavenly face.
“Would I be asking your family about you if I was gay?”
“Could be bi,” she replies and shrugs. “I also have very masculine calves.”
Frowning, I study where she sticks her calves out for my inspection.
“They’re sexy.”
“Thank you, West. Are your parents big fans of compasses? Is that how you got your name?”
“No, I’m named in honor of my aunt Journey.”
