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“It’ll be okay,” he said soothingly.
And normally, Radax’s voice soothed me. But not this time. Because it wasn’t just pain that burned inside my chest. It was the all-consuming anger at the injustice.
“No.” I shook my head. “It won’t be okay, Radax. Not if I stay here.”
The truth came blindingly clear.
I had tried so hard to be perfect, but Madame didn’t want a perfect obedience from me. If she did, she could’ve made me obey. She had the means to bend the will of humans to her wishes. Government officials, custom authorities, animal welfare inspectors, her VIP clients—all ended up doing her bidding after accepting a drink or a snack from her laced with magic from Nerifir.
No, she had a different purpose for me. Radax was not like other bracks. Madame’s control over him had been waning. I could sense it. Surely, she felt it, too, and she used me to manipulate him.
Kyllen was right. Without me, Madame would lose a piece in her game, and Radax’s life might actually improve.
“I need to leave,” I whispered, shocked by my own words.
Radax caught me by my shoulders, turning me to face him. “What are you saying, Amira?”
His dark-brown eyes had thin red streaks radiating from the center around the pupils, like spokes on a bike. People usually found it unsettling when a brack looked at them directly. But not me. In Radax’s bizarre eyes, I saw affection, something I never found anywhere else.
I cupped his chin, my fingers nearly disappearing into his thick beard. A red spot was blooming on the side of his face where Madame had hit him, just under his eye.
“Tell me how to get to Nerifir,” I said.
He shrank back as if I’d slapped him. “What?”
“How do I open the portal?”
Yenric squeaked in my arms, and I settled him more comfortably in my lap.
Radax looked shocked and worried. “Why?”
“You’ve been like a family to me,” I tried to explain. “I love you like a brother. Madame knows it, and she can’t stand it. She is hurting you…” My voice broke, as did my heart. “I need to get away.”
He slowly moved his head from side to side. “I can’t go to Nerifir, Amira. Even if I could, she’d pull me right back to her. I’m a brack. I’m tied to her for eternity.”
“I know.” Leaving him behind gutted me but staying would only hurt him more. I could see it now. “I know you can’t leave her, but I can.” I lowered my voice. “Without me, you’ll be safer, too. You can finally stop risking your life to protect mine. Can’t you see? She’s been using us against each other, punishing you for me. Neither of us will ever be safe unless I leave.”
Radax dropped his shoulders.
“I can’t watch over you in Nerifir. If you leave, I’ll never see you again.” He stared at me intensely. “I love you, Amira, like the daughter I never had or the sister I’ve lost. Please, let me take care of this. Let me find a safer place for you here, in this world.”
Shifting Yenric under my arm, I took Radax’s hand in mine.
“I can’t stay in the same world as her. You know she will search for me, if just out of spite. And sooner or later, she’ll find me.”
Radax gripped my hand tighter, as if anchoring me to him.
“You don’t know life outside of these tents, girl, not in this world, not in any other. Nerifir can be a dangerous place. You won’t be safe there on your own.”
I couldn’t hold his stare and glanced down at Yenric snuggling peacefully in my lap.
“I won’t be alone,” I admitted.
“What do you mean?” Radax frowned. “Who will be with you?”
“The gorgonian. His name is Kyllen. He promised to come with me.”
“The gorgonian? Amira!” he raised his voice, and I hushed him by waving both hands at him. “Have you been talking to him? You know it’s strictly forbidden.”
I knew it was, and yet I broke that rule. I’d broken way too many rules to even think I’d be safe if I stayed.
“He’ll die here, Radax. Madame will kill him sooner or later.”
Radax huffed impatiently. “The gorgonian is a fae. He’s much more resilient than you realize. But more importantly, Amira, gorgonians are extremely deadly. You can’t go with him.”
A sound of chains rattling came from the frame with the animal.
Radax jerked his chin at the beast. “Are you done with him for tonight?”
I glanced at the bucket with the meat on the bottom concealed by the murky water. The meat was now ruined, but it’d been laced with the powder I knew nothing about. Just as I had no idea what the gel I was supposed to put on the beast’s neck wounds would do to him.
Madame had several magical substances at her disposal. No one had explained their purpose to me. But I’d noticed that the camyte drink we served to our VIP clients made them happy and forgetful. It altered their perception of reality and made them enjoy Madame’s shows without questioning what was behind them.
I peeked at the beast again. Nothing that came from Madame could be benign. What if there was a sinister purpose to the yellow powder or the gel? I decided not to use either, at least not until I knew more about both.
“Yes. I’m done here.” I grabbed the spiked metal circle off the floor, then approached the beast. “Are you going to bite me?”
He closed his eyes. A threatening rumble vibrated in his chest, but he held still.
I raised the collar to his neck, then locked it in place as gently as I could.
“Come.” Radax tugged me away by my arm. “I’ll think of something, but we shouldn’t discuss anything here, in his presence.”
The way he said it made me take a closer look at the beast’s eyes again. He watched me carefully, with awareness clearly above the animal level.
“He is just an animal, isn’t he?” I asked, squinting at the beast.
“Amira.” Radax shook his head. “You of all people should know, in Madame’s establishment, nothing is what it seems.”
