Page 30 of Double Doms


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It been a long night, actually one hell of a night. Jett has been in a mood and defiant as fuck. Everything I’ve asked him to do was met with resistance on his end at every turn.

His dinner of Bangers and Mash, the one food he normally eats of mine, without exception, was gross, in his words tonight of all nights. I suggested a bedtime story, and each one I picked out he threw on the floor. The kid hasn’t thrown a temper tantrum since we went through the terrible threes over two years ago.

It’s how I find myself climbing into his bed, patting the seat next to me. He comes, but only after stomping his foot. “Hey, buddy. We all have bad days from time to time. And it’s okay, but we can’t throw stuff, or be mean, just because we’re having a tough time.”

He crosses his arms at his waist, with a large humph accompanying it.

“Normally, when I’m in a mood like you’re in, there’s a reason. Mind telling me what it is, Son?”

“Don’t want to.” He attempts to crawl out of bed, but I snake my arm around his waist, pulling him back to me.

“Nice try. But if I’ve done something to upset you, or if someone else has, I need to know, buddy.”

He closes his eyes and in his anger, he looks so much like his mum, and his mum had plenty to be mad at me about. But she never was—not unless I really fucked up. Jett’s the same way, so I’m surprised by his reaction.

“Okay, I’ll tell you.” He sits still for a couple of minutes. Again, this is so much like Katherine, too. He’s trying to work out how he’ll say what’s on his mind. “You’re taking Grandpa away from me. Not letting me go to his house, especially since you’ve not wanted me around since Mum died.”

I had expected a kid to call him stupid, or maybe trouble found him at school. This was the farthest thing from what I’d thought had been bothering my son all day long. And I know Alan doesn’t like me. But there’s no way he’d say this to Jett.

“Oh, buddy, that’s not the truth at all. Where did you hear this?”

He averts his eyes away from me. This time I’m a little more stern. “What you heard is a bald-faced lie. First, I’ll never keep you from Grandpa, and second, I want you with me all the time. I knew Grandpa was sad after Mummy died. He needed you more than I did.”

I don’t know how to explain to a five-year-old that it goes deeper, hoping that maybe Alan could forgive me for my marriage falling apart with his daughter.

“Jett, Son. Who said this to you? Where’d you hear this?” I’d not even told Jett that things were going to change, but I’d never keep him from his grandpa.

He looks away, his voice almost a whisper. “I heard Grandpa on the phone. I thought it was true.”

Bloody hell! My anger can blow the top off our roof right now, but I try to reel it in for the sake of Jett. “All right buddy, I’m going to make some changes. I’m never taking you away from your grandpa. But if you are with him, you can’t have sleepovers with your friends, and I know you want that. I’ve told him every other weekend, and he could still have you on Wednesday nights. Dinner and a film out, it’s your tradition, I won’t mess with that. And if he wanted you more, we would just need to work it around your schedule.”

He’s digesting all of this in his little brain as I continue. “Remember how you told me you wanted me to sign you up for football—the kind you play with your foot? Well, I can’t do that if you’re a town over in North Kingstown.”

“So, that wasn’t true?” Jett asks.

I deploy a different approach. Of course, I want to tell him it’s the farthest thing from the truth, but I handle it a little differently, for the sake of Jett and not for the sake of Katherine’s dad, though it’s certainly better than telling him his grandpa lied.

“I think in your Gramp’s mind, it’s the way he sees it. It’s going to be hard for him, because he misses your mummy, but I think once he sees this is better for you, he’ll come around. With sleepovers with your mates, and sports, he’ll understand this arrangement works, too.”

Tears well in his face. “So, you want me to be with you more often?”

Did I ever convey anything else to my son? The kid is super clever but hell, have I been this much of a pushover with Alan that my child doesn’t think I want him, or need him?

“Every day, buddy. I’ve always wanted you. I thought Grandpa needed you a bit more, too.” I pull him close to me, his tears soaking my button-up top. “I’m so sorry that you thought otherwise.”

“I love Grandpa, but I like this plan better. Sleepovers, sports, and more time with you. I’ll miss Grandpa, but I’ll still see him, right?” he asks.

“Like I can keep your grandpa away.” Which is the truth, but once I calm down and have the courage to confront him, without tearing him apart, it may be a couple weeks before I’m able to face him.

* * *

Scotch ismy vice tonight as I stare at the phone, wondering if I should check on Charis after her date with Teach. It’s past ten, and they might not be in yet. I don’t want to encroach on their time together.

I’m not in the mood to go at it with Gibson. Sure, I want him, but after the revelation with Jett about Alan’s harsh words on the phone, I’m done for. But I end up texting him for another reason.

Me:Hey, I’m not trying to bug you, or get in your way with Charis tonight. And I’m not using my son to get to you. But was Jett okay in class today?

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