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“Immeasurably.”
She sighs. “In a perfect world, what do you want?”
“To stay here. Be with her.” I hesitate, but the words come pouring out like water over a dam. “I met her here. She spilled iced coffee all over my hand. Then that was it. I walked away. She walked away. I finished my workday and was restless. I didn’t know what it was. I put clothes on after my shower and started walking. I was missing Violet at first then there she was.
“The streetlamps were on and Ava was just underneath. She looked like an angel surrounded by amber. I opened my mouth and I don’t even know what words came out. She smiled back at me. I don’t recall feeling anything like it before. I wanted to talk to her. Protect her. Hold her hand. Sex never even entered my mind. That’s how I knew she was special. I would have done anything to hold on to that feeling. I felt like, I feel like a fucking addict. She sees me. I don’t have to say things and she knows. Ava considers me first. Her thought process is so different. She’s fragile and strong. She’s kind and ferocious. She’s shy but confident.”
“She’s the one,” Nicolette says as she wipes a tear I didn’t even know was there from under my eye. “Why the flower? Can you tell me?”
“We filmed here on location. She stood and watched for a few minutes. At some point after I left, she came and took the last bloom at that time with her. I imagine her standing there breaking the small stem and cupping it in her hand. White like her other roses.”
My eyelids are suddenly so very heavy. My hand that was struggling to free myself from the car is now limp in my lap and joined by my other. While I take a deep sigh, I vaguely hear her car door open. The engine sounds different, nearly like I’m in a tunnel. I hear nothing for a long time.
I feel a gentle hand on my cheek. “Rafael?”
“Hmmm,” I groan.
“I can’t carry you into the hotel. I’m going to need you to walk.”
“I’m tired. So tired.”
“I know. You can sleep once we get you upstairs.”
Nicolette
Getting Rafael through the lobby was a chore. Luckily, there was only hotel staff as a witness. I was able to prop him up in the elevator and my room was only a couple doors away. He wants to stay on the couch, but I know he will be more than comfortable in the bed. After stripping some of his clothes away, he turns over on all fours, crawling slowly to the nearest pillow. With a sigh, he’s completely asleep.
Normally, I’d crawl into bed beside him. It would be easy to do so right now. Something feels wrong about doing that. Rafael’s hand blocks his face and the little light there is in the room. The bracelet he normally hides from me is on full display. I finally get a good look at it. Now I see why he hid it. I recognize the hand-carved beads. It’s from a local store in town on the island.
I switch off the light next to the bed, leaving him coated in darkness except for a bit of light from the cracked bathroom door. I pull a bottle of water from the mini refrigerator and set it on his bedside table next to the garden rose I hope he sees when he wakes. When I pull the extra blanket off the end of the bed, Rafael groans and I hear a muffled, “I love you.”
“I love you too. I do.”
He sighs again then is completely still, except for his gentle breathing. His words may not have been meant for me, but mine were for him. Watching him anything but happy was not a part of the rules. That stops today.
I close him in the room and take my place on the couch. My phone is like another shoe waiting to drop in my hand. First, I text Antonio back, letting him know that Rafael is safe. I know that’s all he’ll care about and not ask more questions than that. My last communication for the night is with Aaron. I message him asking for a meeting Monday morning. Early. I tell him that I need it with both he and Ava. Things need to change, starting now.
Chapter nineteen
Ava
My Friday afternoon spent curled up crying turned into an evening of being a zombie. I have no more tears. I have no more emotion left, I think. I didn’t want to laugh. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to think.
I fall asleep to the Weather Channel, with Austin leaning back against my headboard while he sleeps. I wake to the new day with my period finally making its appearance. Now, no matter what, it’s over. Both Austin and Sylvia kept asking me how I felt about what Rafael said and what the test indicated. I couldn’t answer. Both responses hurt too much.
I was very glad for another shower in the morning. I let the hot water run at my neck then down my body in a lame hope it would wash away everything. It helped wake me and scald that top layer, but I think time is my only friend at this point. I’m toweling off after my shower when I hear my phone vibrate on the table next to my bed.
I see Aaron’s face on the screen. I place the call on speaker. “It’s not Sunday. It’s only Saturday and I’m fine.”
“I know that’s bullshit, but I won’t go there right now. I need to ask you for a favor. I need you to not ask a lot of questions, which I know will be hard for you. Just show up at the office this morning around eleven.”
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. It will be.”
“I can give you an hour. That’s about all I have in me.”
“That will be enough. I promise.”
