AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Those words linger in the air. Let him go. “What do you mean?”
“Ava, I sat up most of the night working through this. I know I’m tired, but I also know I’m being clear. He loves me. I know that. I think he always will in his own way. I know I will love him too.”
One thing I’ve noticed in my limited interactions with her is she’s usually unfazed. Her train of thought is starting to pull her words. “Ava, you should know that Rafael and I have not been intimate since he met you. He’s been faithful to you and his feelings for you, which is how I know I can’t compete with you. You have something with him that’s unexplainable. He deserves that. If that’s not where you still are then tell me. I will continue to work through the broken pieces if you don’t love him enough to forgive him.”
Nicolette takes something from her purse and slides it over to me across the table. “This is the key to my hotel room. When I left, he was still snoring on the pillows. Go to him. See him. Listen to what he has to say. If after all that you still want to walk away, text me. I will come back and console him. I’m telling you I love him enough to let him go. The next move is yours.”
With that, she pulls her sunglasses back down to hide her eyes. She rises from her chair to quietly leave me to sit with my thoughts and her hotel key. I don’t notice Aaron has walked into the room and is standing at the end of the table. “What happened?” he asks.
I turn the key over and over again in my hands. “She’s walking away. She said he’s in bad shape. I guess he got very drunk last night. There’s a part of all this I didn’t tell you.”
“What part is that?”
“Umm, the part where I thought I was pregnant with his child.”
I feel like those words echo around both of us and drift into the hallway. Aaron closes the door to fall into the seat Nicolette left warm. “Jesus.”
“Fuck, Aaron. This is such a mess. He came over after being here yesterday and found out I’d gone home sick.”
“Then I sent him to you. Fuck.”
“Stop. Rafael wanted to make sure I was okay. He and Austin got into a fight. Austin punched him. Rafael saw the pregnancy test on my bathroom counter while I was cleaning him up. He then proceeded to tell me that he’d take care of me, of us. He bought a house here for the two of us to live in.
“When the test came back negative, it looked like something died inside him. Now today, the woman who’s acted like his girlfriend for years sits in front of me and says she’s willing to walk away so we can be together. What the fuck reality am I living in?”
“Well, Ava, it sounds like your reality. Wow, negative. Okay.” Aaron takes a few breaths to process then asks the question of the day. “Do you love him?”
“Why does everyone ask me that? Sometimes love isn’t enough. I mean, shit, they’ve written dozens of songs about that.”
Aaron reaches over and takes my hand with the hotel key still in it. “Sometimes love is just enough. You know I told him I would break him in two if he hurt you, so he’s lucky I haven’t done that. Twice. He did come to find you. He could have run at the word baby. Instead, in those seconds, where there was even a possibility, he was by your side making plans to be a family. Is that something you want to say no to?”
I look at the possible key to my future in my hand and I hold back the tears long enough to answer his question with another. “Can you drive me somewhere?”
Chapter twenty
Ava
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in this hotel. Some of my clients like to stay here, so the irony of it being where Nico stays isn’t lost on me. I’m glad I’m on the elevator alone. It gives me a moment when I don’t feel like I’m being stared at for feeling whatever I feel. I have a Grey’s Anatomy moment when I consider pulling the stop button, where my chest and sobs can heave in silence without fear of being caught. My palm leaves an imprint on the mirrored wall where I use it to brace myself until the doors open again.
The ninth floor comes and the door opens to a plush green carpet with a small seating area surrounding a window to my right. Room number 915 is a corner suite on the left end. The hallway down to the door seems to grow with each step instead of bringing me closer. I’m certain it’s my anxiety-filled mind, but I’d swear it to anyone that asked.
Luckily, I don’t even run into a member of the housekeeping staff on my walk. I take one last deep breath outside the door before I tap the key on the electronic pad to let myself in. What appears to be Nicolette’s luggage is placed neatly in front of the entry closet across from a floor-to-ceiling mirror and the mini bar.
Not that she had any reason to lie, I get to see evidence of her truth. The makeshift bed on the couch is still there. Her pillow, a thick hotel robe, and the extra comforter drape over the couch cushions loosely, with a tea mug dotted with her lipstick still sitting on the table in front of the couch.
The door to where the bedroom is, and where my future or past lies, is on my right. The room is still black as night beyond the cracked door. I set my purse down on a small dining table before going in. The door swings open easily and I find myself centering with a deep breath, my hands on my chest and belly feeling the deep inhale and exhale as I find the sight of him.
Rafael is in the exact position Nicolette described to me. The thick down comforter coats his body up to the middle of his back. Much of his face is pressed deep into the pillow, with his left arm angled so his palm covers the side of his face. The hints of silver from his bracelet catch the light and radiate into my heart. Seeing him like this makes my heart warm and ache in the same breath.
His strong, muscular shoulders call for me to touch them. I want to. I want to so badly. I know I’m here, but I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, other than make sure he’s okay. There is a small patch of bed available on his right side for me to sit next to him. I notice a bottle of water and a container of Advil waiting for him. The other item waiting is not something I expect to see. It’s a white rose…a garden rose like the one from the house I took for myself. Yet another fact checks out with Nicolette.
I try not to move the bed too much when I sit. I don’t want to disturb Rafael just yet. I want to have this minute where it’s not hard. This, just being near him, is easy. It’s the rest that makes me unsure. I play with a curl of his dark locks and shift its position on the pillowcase. Then I mindlessly begin to massage his scalp with my fingertips. For a few moments the room is silent except for our mingled breaths. His next breath exhales into a soft groan before it turns into words. “No, don’t.”
“Shhh. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Rafael’s fingers begin to flutter over his face. “Ava?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “It’s me.”
