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“Sshh. We can’t change it. We underestimated her, Theo. We were naïve to think she would give up. The cards were always stacked against us, we were stupid to think otherwise.”
He pulls back to look at me. His eyes glisten with unshed tears, making my heart break all over again. “This isn’t over, piccola. We will never be over. I will come back to you. Because you are mine and I am yours. No matter what happens, remember that.” He pauses, his eyes flickering with hesitation. “I want to make love to you. Show you how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I know you probably don’t want that, but I need to be with you.”
I smile. I need that to. Need to feel him move inside me one last time. Without saying anything, I push up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He scoops me up in his arms, steps through the door, and carries me through to the bedroom. He makes quick work of removing all our clothes before he places me on the bed like I’m a precious diamond. He kisses me, claiming my mouth like he does every time. Breaking the kiss, he shuffles down my body, burying his head between my legs. He swipes his tongue from my clit to my slit, making me squirm. It’s been so long and with this being our last time I don’t want him to take it easy on me.
“Theo,” I mewl when he takes my clit into his mouth and pushes two thick fingers inside of me. He sucks and pumps me like his life depends on it, not stopping until I’m crying out his name and coming on his fingers.
“Good girl,” he praises with a kiss to my thigh. He crawls up the bed, lines his cock up to my entrance and pushes inside only stopping when he’s to the hilt. “I’m home. Where I belong,” he rasps as he starts moving.
Watching me, he never takes his eyes from my face the whole time. There is so much emotion flashing in his eyes, it makes me cry. My tears leak down my cheeks and onto the bed.
“It’s okay, piccola. Everything will be okay. We will be together. I promise. There is only you. No one else. I will make my way back to you,” he murmurs softly. I want to shout that it won’t be okay, it will never be okay again, that we won’t be together. But I let him have his moment.
Reaching down he thumbs my clit. My second orgasm barrels through me, I clamp down around his cock, forcing his own release from him. He stills, his cock jerking inside me as his come coats my insides. All the while he maintains eye contact. A sob breaks free, and he peppers my face with kisses, but I don’t miss the glassiness in his eyes.
This is heartbreaking. Too much for anyone to take. I need him to go.Ineed to go now we’ve said our goodbyes. I push at his chest, wanting out from under him. I feel like I can’t breathe. He frowns down at me but gives me my space.
I climb out of the bed and hobble to my adjoined bathroom where I hop in the shower. Turning it on, I let the hot spray wash away the smell of Theo as tears fall from my eyes. Sliding down the wall, I cradle my knees to my chest and sob harder.
It’s done.
We’re over.
I hear rather than see Theo open the door and step inside, he sits beside me and pulls me into his lap. He whispers that he loves me. That he will find me. That we are going to have a life together. That we will marry and have our own family. He promises me things I know he won’t be able to deliver. I cry harder. Feeling numb. Feeling resentment.
I lost him.
I lost the man I love.
* * *
After crying in the shower for I don’t know how long, I finally manage to get out and get changed. Theo is trying his hardest to be the strength I need, but I can feel him breaking too.
Downstairs in the parking lot, Greg loads the last of our bags in the SUV whilst my mama waits for me in the back seat. I stand outside the building that has been my home for nearly a year with the man I love and subsequently lost.
Theo.
It’s time to say goodbye. I didn’t think it would be this hard and I thought I was finished with my tears, but they fall anyway.
Theo cups my face in his big hands. “I love you, piccola.” He presses his lips to my forehead.
“I love you too. I’m sorry. About everything,” I croak.
He frowns. “None of this is your fault. Just remember we are not over. We will never be over. I will come for you.”
I sigh, knowing we can never be. “Look after yourself. I know you didn’t want this, but you will be an amazing father,” my voice cracks saying the words.
“Your right, I don’t want this, but I need to be there for my child. I wouldn’t trust that woman to look after a plant let alone a baby.” He blows out a breath. “I will never be with Mel. Ever. I am doing this for the baby, and I understand that you can’t be with me whilst I do that, even if I want you to be by my side. It’s selfish of me to expect that and as selfish as I am when it comes to you, you deserve more. But know this, me and you? We are not over. We will never be over. I’m nothing without you, piccola. You make me want to do better. Be better. We are two magnets, drawn together, two sides of the same coin, and there isn’t a thing in this universe that will stop that. You are mine. I am yours and wewillbeendgame.”
Without saying another word—because there is nothing to say to that when I know I would be foolish to pin my hopes on Theo’s words—I kiss him and walk away.
Stepping up to the SUV, I stand at the door, locking eyes with my heart, my love, my Theo. Both of us look as broken as each other. Even with tears spilling down my cheeks, I smile. Through the pain and the heartbreak, I give him a nod. Silently telling him I know he must do this and it’s okay, even though it’s breaking us both. Even though I want to run to him and never let him go. With my eyes, I tell him I love him and that if there were no baby involved, I wouldn’t be doing this to us. Wouldn’t be walking away from him. He already knows this though. He knows that I cannot in good conscience take a father from his baby and vice versa. Theo needs to be there for his child.
I suck in a breath, squeezing my eyes closed as if it will help the pain before they pop open again. Taking one last look at the man that has my heart, the man that will always have my heart, I slide into the car.
My mama squeezes my arm in silent support as Charlene Soraia’s, Wherever You Will Go, plays on the radio. I huff out a laugh at the irony.
Because the truth is, if I could, I would go wherever Theodore Rhodes goes.
