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“Do…do you mind if we stay here?” I asked in a small voice.
“Not in the slightest. I just want to spend time with you. The setting doesn’t matter. Can I help you up?”
I nodded timidly, and he took the flowers from me, then stood up and held his hand out. Accepting it, I let him pull me to my feet. He looked me right in the eyes as his hand came up to caress my cheek.
“Can I kiss you, Ky?” he whispered.
My lips parted on a shaky exhale, but I nodded.
His kiss was tender and sweet and unhurried, just like last night, and I was surprised to find the knot in my stomach loosening as our lips and tongues slowly moved together like a well-choreographed dance.
It was almost like…
Was this kiss – and his touch – actually calming me down?
Maybe he did deserve to know something about my past. Not everything, but enough to help him understand.
“Look, Ian, I’ve been hurt before, and it almost killed me,” I sniffled as I backed away just enough to look him in the eyes. “I don’t think I can survive any more pain. I just…I need you to be patient with me, because this is part of who I am.”
“I would never hurt you, Ky,” he murmured, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I wish I knew what’s making you so afraid to trust me, because I wish I knew what to say or do to show you that you can. You don’t have to tell me, but just know that I’m here if you ever want to. And know that as long as you want me around, I’m not going anywhere. So let’s go put these flowers in your room, give Cosette her banana, and order some pizza and figure out what movie to watch.”
I smiled. Ian kissed me again and then picked up the flowers and let me lead him back to my bedroom. I went over to Cosette’s cage, and she stood up on her hind legs with her paws on the cage bars, like she always did when she wanted to be picked up. I chuckled and opened the cage.
“Hey, sweet girl. Ian brought you a treat,” I said, showing her the banana.
She stretched further up on the cage, so she was almost standing straight up on her back feet. I chuckled and peeled the banana part of the way, tearing a chunk off to give her and putting it down on her ledge. She immediately dug in like the little pig she was.
“Maybe we can let her out while we’re watching our movie,” I said. “Let her work off all that sugar. I just need to remember to put her back in by four so my mom won’t flip over a closed door again when she gets home.”
“Okay,” Ian chuckled, sliding his arms around my shoulders.
I stiffened for a second, unable to control my body’s natural response to being touched unexpectedly, but then relaxed and let him hold me. If I was going to date him, I was going to have to get used to this. He planted a kiss on my shoulder, and when I turned my head to look at him, he pecked me on the lips.
“I want to ask you something, and please don’t take this the wrong way. But I just wanted to know how you want to play this at school. Do you want people to know we’re dating, or do you want to keep it between us?”
Right. Of course. He wanted to date me, but he didn’t want anyone to know. I should have seen it sooner. He liked me, but just in private. Maybe after last night, he’d figured out that we’d never work as a couple in public. No one would accept us.
“You’re the one with the reputation at stake,” I sighed. “I wouldn’t want to ruin that.”
“Ky, I couldn’t care less what people think,” he said, gently turning me around to face him. “I’m proud to be with you and I want everyone to know that you’re mine. But I can tell you don’t like being the center of attention, and if we go public, peoplearegoing to pay attention to you. It’s an unfortunate side effect of dating a football player, especially one who’s being scouted. That’s why I gave you the option. I wantyouto be comfortable.”
I took a second to consider it. He was right. Going public with our relationship would mean people paying more attention to us. But maybe that would be a good thing. Maybe, just maybe, it’d make people like Hannah shut up. I wasn’t naïve enough to hope that it would make Max and his cronies stop bullying me, but it couldn’t hurt.
“We can tell people if you want,” I told him.
That earned me a kiss. Apparently that made him happy.
“Do me a favor. Pick Cosette up for a second.”
“Okay?” I asked, confused.
“Just roll with it,” he chuckled.
Well, I’d never complain about snuggling with my bunny. So I did what he asked and nuzzled her soft fur.
“Come here,” he instructed, pulling me close. “And hold her a little higher.”
I did what he asked, and he pulled his phone out and kissed the top of my head.
