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CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
KYLER
“Morning, gorgeous,”Ian murmured, brushing his lips against my forehead. “Feliz Navidad.”
“Mm,” I sighed contentedly. “Merry Christmas. How long have you been up?”
“A few minutes. But you looked so peaceful while you were asleep. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.”
God, I loved waking up to him. It was going to suck if my mom ended up pulling her head out of her ass and I had to go back home. I was spoiled right now because the first thing I saw in the morning and the last thing I saw at night was my favorite face in the world.
Not that I thought there was much of a likelihood of me going back to my mom’s house. My dad and his fiancée, Jody, had caught the first flight they could out of San Francisco after he’d gotten off of that FaceTime call with me, and we’d gone over to my mom’s house a couple of days ago. Jody had helped me get my room packed up, while my dad had kept my mom away from me and forced her to cough up my health insurance card, birth certificate, and Social Security card…which she did, after he’d pulled his phone out and started to dial 911. I’d also left my car there, because since Ian and I went to school together and he didn’t have any after-school activities this semester, there was absolutely no reason for me to have something that big that my mom could use to manipulate me into moving back into her house.
Maybe one day I’d be brave enough to face my mom again and get some closure for how we’d left things, but I just couldn’t right now. I was going through enough as it was. I didn’t need to add dealing with my verbally and emotionally abusive mother to the list of things on my plate.
“Hey,” he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “Where’d you go?”
I sighed. “Thinking about my mom. I hate that my dad had to come out here just to make sure she didn’t have me arrested for stealingmycar.”
“I know, baby. But look on the bright side. Your dad and Jody get to be part of our Christmas this year. When’s the last time you had a Christmas with him?”
“It’s been a while,” I admitted, smiling a little. “Before he started dating Jody. And it’s actually been really nice to get to know her better the past couple of days.”
“See? There was a positive in all this. Anyway, before we head downstairs, do me a favor and open the nightstand drawer and take the folded piece of paper out.”
I rolled over and opened the drawer, finding the paper he wanted immediately. I pulled it out and then rolled back over to hand it to him.
“No, it’s for you,” he said. “But I need to preface this by telling you that this is not your Christmas present. Not even close. I’m not that cheap or that selfish. I just figured this was as good a time as any.”
“Okay?” I chuckled.
“Read it,” he told me.
I unfolded the paper and found myself looking at a doctor’s report. It took a second for me to realize that I was looking at the result of the STD test that he’d told me he was going to have his doctor do when he had his physical. Just like he’d told me it would be, it was one hundred percent negative.
“Does this mean what I think it means?” I asked.
“I’ve almost given this to you a couple of different times since you’ve been here,” he sighed. “But it never felt right. I know you’ve been frustrated about waiting.”
“I don’t know if frustrated is the right word. More like impatient. But I get it. And you’ve had to listen to me tell my story so many times lately too. I’m sure that’s kind of a mood-killer.”
“No, baby,” he said, putting a hand on my face and looking straight into my eyes. “That’s not it at all. I hate hearing what happened to you, but listening to you talk about it hasnevermade me want you any less. Honestly, I’ve been hesitant because I’m nervous. Like, really nervous.”
Wait. What?
“Why?” I asked him.
He took a deep breath. “Because I want to make sure you feel safe and comfortable. And because I want your first time to be perfect and I’m scared to death I’m going to say or do something to trigger you and fuck it all up.”
I tightened my arms around him and leaned forward to capture his lips, pouring every ounce of love I had for him into the kiss.
Thatwas what I was worried about too. I wasn’t afraid of him, not in the slightest. I loved him, and I loved the new layer that being more physical in our relationship had added to our connection. But since I hadn’t so much as kissed anyone else until he came along, I had no idea what might potentially trigger me, and the last thing I wanted was to kill the mood because I started freaking out over something I hadn’t even realized would be an issue.
“I already know it’s going to be perfect, Ian,” I murmured. “Because it’s going to be with you.”
That earned me one of the lopsided grins I loved so much, along with a tender kiss.
“But I’m nervous too,” I admitted. “I’m not scared of you, not even a little bit, but I’m just…I guess I’m scared of the very real possibility that I’ll freeze. You know?”
