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“Have a seat, wherever you’re comfortable,” she said and I sat on the edge of the couch. “It’s nice to meet you Piper.”
“Uh, you too, Dr Freeman.”
She smiled and sat daintily on the chair across from me, picking up a tablet from the table beside her. “I understand it was your idea to come and see me, Piper?”
I nodded. “Uh, yes.”
“Why do you think you need therapy?”
I looked down at my hands and found them interlaced in my lap. “I don’t really know how to put it.”
“That’s okay. How about we start with what brought you here? What made you decide?”
I didn’t want to admit it. But, I knew I had to. “Roman.”
“Roman?” she asked, writing something down.
I nodded. “Roman.”
“And, who is Roman to you?”
I sighed. “Uh, that’s the problem. I don’t know…”
Somehow, I found myself telling her everything. I started something like three months earlier when Roman moved in next door, to the day Hadley and I were sitting on the bleachers in Mason’s PE lesson, I went through my relationship with Mason, Hadley, Mum, Dad, Roman, even Celeste. I stumbled in some parts. But, I knew overall that I wasn’t going to get anything out of it if I wasn’t completely honest.
“…so, when I turned around and realised I only had one person in my life that I was truly honest with… And, I couldn’t talk to him anymore… Well, I figured it was time for a change.”
I finally looked up and saw her watching me thoughtfully. “Thank you, Piper.”
I blinked. “For what?”
“For sharing all that. I see you’ve been dealing with a lot of…new things lately.”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“Piper, have you ever self-diagnosed?”
“No. I don’t think so?”Should I have?
Dr Freeman nodded, a smile widening on her face. “Good. You know, that is one problem with the internet these days. Everything is so readily available to us. We can type in a bunch of symptoms and get a whole bunch of things back. You said sometimes you feel…funky?”
I nodded. “Roman and I…” I cleared my throat. “It’s what we called it. If I felt down or antsy or uncomfortable, he’d say I was in a funk.”
“And, what did you call it before?”
I shrugged. “Nothing really. Issues, I guess.”
“Issues? And, the negative connotations of that never made you feel worse?”
“No. I guess it was a bit tongue-in-cheek, you know. Sort of downplay how I was feeling because I knew I’d look stupid to other people if they knew. I kind of labelled things the way I thought other people would relate to them better.” I shrugged again.
“Why do you think you’d look stupid to other people?”
“Because what does Piper Barlow have to worry about? Really? I live in a nice house. I have great parents. I have wonderful friends. I get good grades. I’m healthy. I’m lucky. And, feeling any other way is…” I slowed to a stop.
“Is what, Piper?”
“Selfish,” I said around the lump in my throat.
