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“To a woman, they do. We feel their loss and we grieve for them as if they were—” Her words waned. “Aidan might not be the best in certain situations, but he always got that. He felt the loss as much as I did.”
“You miscarried?”
“Twice.” She tipped up her chin. “Before and after Brennan. He and Conor were my rainbow babies.”
“Rainbow babies?”
“They didn’t have that name back then. We just had to grieve on our own and pretend we weren’t grieving. Pretty much like we had post-partum depression, but it didn’t have a name, and we had to get over it…” She cleared her throat. “You have to be there for her, Finn.”
“Of course, I’ll be there for her. Jesus, Lena. That wasn’t even what I was asking. What ifshedoesn’t want me to be there period? She could rest this at my door, and I’m not sure I’d blame her.”
Her smile was sad. “The pregnancy wasn’t viable, Finn. This could have happened at any moment. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s just… It’s just life.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to make this better?”
“You can’t. You just be there. And she will want you there. She loves you, Finn. You love her. These are the times that will bring you closer together or tear you apart.” She reached up and cupped my chin. “I wish you hadn’t gone through this already, but you have. You know what to do—just be yourself.”
“It’s different now.” I gulped. “She knows everything.”
“And she has every right to be mad and bitter about it,” was her simple retort. Though the wordsweresimple, her pain shadowed each one. “So let her. Let her get angry. Let her rage at you. Let her burn off her temper and her grief.
“But when she wants to cry, don’t allow her to hide those tears.” Her fingers traced underneath my eye where I could feel the slickness from my own. “Shedthesewith her, share them with her. Grieve together or you really will lose her.
“You have some dark days ahead of you, sweetheart. She… she hates me, rightfully so, and that will mean she won’t want to visit on Sundays. Don’t force her, okay?” She touched my arm. “I understand that she doesn’t want to come and eat with us, and if your father doesn’t, then I’ll make sure he keeps out of it. Or try to. Just concentrate on getting things back on the right track.”
“What if that’s not possible?”
“Some people are just destined to be, Finn. You and Aoife are that.” She reached up onto her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’ll get through this, son. I know you will.”
