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Chapter20
Charlotte
“Okay, you answered the phone. That’s a good sign.” My Aunt Gigi’s voice fills the line as I reach for my coffee cup and refill it from the carafe.
“I almost didn’t. But then I saw your name and figured you’d be able to offer me some pearls of wisdom that may snap me out of this pity party I’m throwing for myself.”
She laughs. “That is kind of my specialty. But first I wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”
I sigh, taking my coffee cup back to the couch and plopping down onto the cushion that has a permanent indentation from my ass by now. “I don’t know what I am. I’m currently at home since my boss told me to lay low until this video fiasco blows over.”
“Smart. But I agree with the statement they released,” she says, tapping into her business-like mind frame. “I gotta hand it to them; an editor for a woman’s magazine standing up for herself against male superiority and unrealistic societal expectations is good for business.”
“Yes, I agreed with what they said too because, well, it’s true. I was standing up for myself. I just wish the whole world didn’t get to experience my toxic family dynamic firsthand while I was doing so.”
“Hell, honey, you know how the world works. You’re the hot topic right now, but it will only be a few days before something else comes along, and then you’ll be old news.”
“God hoping.” I take a sip of my coffee. “So why did you really call?”
I hear her let out a breath through the phone. “Seeing you in Hawaii and watching that blow up between you and your mom made me realize I haven’t been there for you as much as I should, and I’m trying to change that.”
“You’re busy, Aunt Gigi. I get it.”
“I know, but I want you to know that I will never be too busy for you, Charlotte. You’re my favorite niece in the world.”
“I’m your only niece,” I counter with amusement.
“True, but you’re the best one a woman could ask for. I’m so damn proud of you and what you’ve accomplished, how headstrong and determined you are, and watching you blow up was like the equivalent of a mother watching their child take their first steps.” I chuckle. “I never had kids, so I can only assume the comparison is accurate, but I’m telling you that that moment will be a catalyst that will change the course of your life and what you’re willing to accept any more. No one, not even your mother, deserves to hold that kind of power over you, to make you feel any type of way for the choices that you’ve made in your life. You are the one that gets to decide who is in your life and in what capacity, as well as how much energy they get from you. Life is too short to surround yourself with shitty people, and there is only so much of yourself that you should give before you finally realize that what you have to offer will never be enough for some people—and that is okay.”
“You should give motivational speeches for a living, Aunt Gigi,” I joke through my tears.
“I’m going on the road next year. I’ll make sure to send you tickets when I’m in Los Angeles,” she teases right back. “I just want you to know that I love you and support you, and I hope you find peace and balance with your mother soon. I do regret not trying to repair the relationship with my mother at least somewhat, but that’s my burden to bear. I’d hate for you to have to live with that too.”
“I appreciate your advice. I truly do.”
“Anytime, kiddo.” A voice calls to her in the background. “Uh oh. Duty calls.”
“Thank you for calling, Aunt Gigi.”
“I promise to call more, Charlotte.”
“Me too.”
We end the call and then I settle back into the couch, staring at the television. I guess I could watch some movies today between answering emails and staying in the loop at work.
I head over to my television stand and suddenly, the urge to watch The Greatest Showman hits me. That story always puts me in a good mood; fighting for your dreams, daring to be different, never giving up even when you make mistakes. That’s good shit that may help me figure out what I want to do with my life right now.
As I search for the DVD in question, I come up empty-handed and then start racking my brain for where it could be. And then it hits me—I left it at Damien’s apartment.
“Damn it.” A sudden wave of sadness rushes through me, but then I settle on the DVD he brought me of Matthew McConaughey rom-coms since it’s already in the machine. The Wedding Planner starts playing, and as soon as it gets to the scene where Jennifer Lopez is in her apartment eating alone, it hits me—this was my life before Damien came back into it. In fact, I remember telling him about this parallel the night we had dinner in his apartment at the start of this arrangement.
So I guess now I need to decide if this is the life I want to go back to, or do I want to fight for one with him in it?
I think my heart already knows the answer, but my bruised ego is fighting hard to catch up.
* * *
It’s officially been one week since I’ve seen Damien, and I’m starting to have withdrawals, craving him like I do with certain food items the week before my period hits. Going back to work yesterday helped distract me, but my mind is still all over the place. I’m sad one moment, then I feel fine the next. Then a spark of anger will build when I think about my mom, and then I’m crying again when I realize that all I want is for Damien to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
He still hasn’t called or texted me. I honestly don’t know what I was expecting though. And the longer I go without hearing from him, the worse I think this has turned out to be.
But this morning I woke up realizing that while I know I need to work through some things, I want Damien by my side while I do. Without his support, without knowing that I have him to turn to when everything gets to be too much, my life feels empty, like it was before we reconnected, and I don’t want to live like that ever again.
I guess watching romantic comedies all weekend helped me realize that I had the man I’ve been looking for all along, and now I need to fix things to try and get him back.
Spontaneity has never been my forte. But with every second that passes, I have an overwhelming need to see him. So I leave work after asking Helen to cover for me and stop by the coffee shop to get Damien a hot tea before walking over to his office, hoping to at least talk to him for a minute and feel him out.
I realize I’ve been back to work for one full day and I’m already ditching—employee of the year here.
But this is life or death. Well, more like love or agony, and today I’m choosing love.
When I get to the floor for Goldstein Advertising, the receptionist acknowledges me by name, letting me pass with just a friendly wave as she continues a conversation on the phone.
I arrive at Damien’s door, taking a deep breath of courage before knocking, and then waiting for him to answer. But several minutes pass without any acknowledgment. So I knock again, wondering if he just didn’t hear me.
Growing worried, I look down the hall to one side and see nothing, turn around and come face to face with Dave, Damien’s boss.
“Jesus,” I say, placing my hand over my rapidly beating heart.
But he just smiles at me, ignoring the fact that he scared the shit out of me, and proceeds to speak. “Hi, Charlotte. What are you doing here?”
“Um, I just wanted to see Damien. I brought him tea,” I say proudly while holding up the cup in my hand.
“Well, I hate to tell you this, but Damien is not here.”
