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“That’s a nice way of saying they’re intrusive.”
I smiled, wishing I could touch him. “I’ll try to come back tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll be able to shake her that easily.”
“Just promise you won’t leave without saying goodbye,” he said solemnly, fully believing that Clarissa would change my mind about the whole thing.
I could see his fists clenching as he itched to touch me again. I would not listen to Clarissa. I needed James more than she knew, and I wouldn’t give up my last chance to feel something.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Then I turned and walked into the house. I glanced to the side and saw my sandals laying on the mat inside the door. James must have set them there.
“You didn’t tell me he was that good looking.”
I narrowed my gaze on her. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you think?”
I pursed my lips, refusing to let her talk me out of this. “You won’t change my mind.”
“Then why did you let him leave?” she asked, sitting down on the couch. “I didn’t come here to tell you what you’re doing is wrong.”
“It sure looks like it.”
“Can you sit down?” she asked, finally letting go of the uppity attitude.
Sighing, I sank down in a chair, all too aware that I was sweaty and gross. I had pictured coming back here and showering with James.
“Oh boy,” she sighed.
“What?” I asked, snapping my gaze back to hers.
“You’ve already lost it, haven’t you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“That look, I’ve seen it on other people, but never on you.”
She didn’t understand what this was doing to me. I mean, she might on some level, but she wasn’t going through it. “My husband doesn’t love me, Clarissa.”
“You knew that going in.”
I shrugged. “I did. Trust me, I knew exactly what this was. I just didn’t expect…the distance. I thought we might at least have a small chance to make our marriage work, but it’s clear he doesn’t want the same thing.”
“Can you blame him?”
“No,” I answered honestly. “But he’s probably sleeping with women left and right. You know his reputation.”
“But the stakes are higher now, Wally. You stand to lose everything. Your parents will be fine, still rich as ever, but you will lose everything you worked for. Why the hell would you marry Alexander, only to fuck it up by sleeping with another man?”
Because my heart slowed when he was around. Because I didn’t feel alone when I was with him. Because even in the few days I’d known him I felt an undeniable connection. How could I give that up?
“Wally, if you do this, I’ll support you. But how long do you think it’ll take Alexander to realize that you’re in love with another man when you go home? The way you look right now, heartbroken and full of longing, that will only get worse the more time that goes by. He’ll know.”
“But he won’t care,” I reiterated. “He can sleep with whoever he wants.”
“Have you thought about talking with him? Maybe you could agree to an open marriage.”
“His family would never go for that, and neither would mine.”
