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Pick Up the Pieces
Leigh
“Abuelita?”IcallasI walk through the door of the apartment, tired as shit. Seriously, I didn’t know what tiredness truly was until I got pregnant. I’m worn out emotionally, too. I may have kept a strong face on most of the time, but it still killed me to see Braden like that. He’s my partner in troublemaking crime, and despite how pissed I’ve been at him, I’ve missed that. I’ve missed him.
At least I might get some rest tonight knowing that he’s out of imminent danger. Well, except from me. Because if he doesn’t learn from this… I’ll be his worst nightmare.
“Mijita,” Abuelita says softly, walking out of the kitchen and kissing my cheek. “How are you doing? Braden’s awake?”
I nod through a yawn. “Yes, he’s awake. Thank God. We all needed him to come through it, but seeing the relief in Maia and Nick…” I trail off, yawning again.
Her brow furrows in concern. “Are you okay?”
My eyes snap to hers. “What? Yes, I’m fine. Just tired. Barely slept these last few days.”
She runs her hand over my forehead. “You don’t feel warm, but you look more than tired. If you don’t feel better next week, we’re going to the doctor.”
“Sí, Abuelita. I’m gonna go rest. I love you.”
Walking past, I give her a kiss on the cheek. She nods and squeezes my hand, whispering,sleep well, I love you,in Spanish.
I walk to my room, shut the door behind me, and throw myself onto the bed, thoughts of all that’s happened, my pregnancy, and telling Abuelita whirling through my mind.
My hand drops to my stomach. “Don’t ever do this shit,” I whisper. “I swear on the souls of my ancestors, if you ever drink and drive, I will lock you in the house. I don’t care how old you are.”
Rolling onto my back, I run my hands over my face. God in heaven, I sound like Abuelita. I’m already warning my baby of how much shit I will give them if they do something stupid, yet here I am, terrified of the shit Abuelita is going to give me.
I just don’t want to fight with her. I know usually I’m game for a good verbal sparring match, but I’m not in the place for that. If she doesn’t… can’t love me through this, I think I might fall apart. She makes me crazy sometimes, but other than my friends, she’s my constant. She always has been. I could never count on my mother for anything, but Abuelita? She always showed up. I never had to worry. I never had to double check the time with her.I’ll be there with bells on, mijita.I’m tough and strong and all that shit, but when I don’t want to be, when I need a rest, I can always count on her to take care of me. I know I have Nick now, too, but that’s different. And, if I’m honest, I haven’t fully gotten used to it yet.
Who the hell gets pregnant the first time having sex with someone?
Lots of people, probably.
Well, woohoo, I’m one of theluckyones.
I sigh and glance at my desk. Cursing myself out as I do it, I reach for the drawer and pull it open. The photo of my mother awaits me. I pause for a second before removing it from the drawer. Then I pull it out and hold it up. I see a reflection of myself, and I hate it. Hate that I look like her. That I can dance like her. That my laugh sounds like hers. That I got knocked up at eighteen just like she did. Well, she was nineteen, but I’ll be nineteen before I have whoever this is.
I throw the picture back in the drawer and slam it shut. That’s where the resemblance ends. I won’t be the mom who abandons my child.
My hand drops to my stomach again. “I love you, you hear me?”
And as if some silent agreement of love and sticking together has been decreed, I lie back and close my eyes, allowing my hand to rest on my stomach as I quickly fall asleep.
