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Chapter 18
~ AVA ~
“You’re making a huge mistake.”
Charlisa’s words are the last thing I need to hear right now.
It’s barely nine a.m.and I’ve already had my morning coffee… three times.
I left Bryant’s apartment just after Nicholas woke up, which was unexpectedly early seeing as he’s a kid with more energy than even seems possible after an entire afternoon in the ER the day before.
I left before I even ate breakfast.Bryant only has a couple more days with Nicholas.I didn’t want to cut into their time together.But when I was about halfway home, I felt a hint of bitterness that I even felt the need to leave so quickly.
I don’t mind revolving my entire world around my son.It’s my duty.It’s myprivilegeto take care of him.He deserves so much.
But I’m tired of having to factor Bryant’s needs into the equation when the divorce, the move to Philadelphia to be near his old college buddies, even the post-divorce schedule where he conveniently gets to swoop in and enjoy his son on every holiday… they were all Bryant’s ideas.Not mine.
So right now, with so little sleep and the realization that I’ve been making Bryant’s life way too convenient, I find myself tired and crabby as I prepare myself to do something that I simply don’t want to do.
My grip on my phone tightening unconsciously, I look at my Christmas tree.Its lights are off.Why turn them on when I’m definitely not in the holiday spirit?
“Charlisa, you were the one who didn’t think I should date Harris in the first place.”
“That was before I saw you two at Christmas caroling.It was pretty clear how he felt about you.And how you felt about him.”
“It was never serious,” I lie, simply because if I say the words enough, I’m hoping I’ll believe them.
“Oh, come on.I could tell you two had slept together.For you, that’s as serious as a heart attack.”
My jaw gapes slightly.“How could you tell?”
“Geez, hon, don’t you see the way he looks at you?And then there’s the way you look at him.That’s not the way two people look at each other after just eating a couple meals.”
“You never said anything.”
“Why would I?You have a right to your secrets.I know you think I blab too much.But I do havesomecontrol.And dammit, Ava, you’re in love with him.Don’t tell me you’re not.”
“It’s too soon for that.”
“But it still happened, didn’t it?”
My frown deepens as I look out my window, waiting to see Harris walking over as we just planned.“All the more reason to stop this now.He’s moving in six months, Char.I have a son I need to think of.Nicholas will get too attached to him if he knows we’re dating.I don’t want his heart breaking when Harris leaves.”
“But what if Harris asked you to follow him?I mean, a lot can happen in six months.”
I shake my head even though my friend can’t see me.“Nicholas will be needing surgery again soon, at the rate he’s growing.You know that.He’s got a team here—the best surgeons in the country.They know him.And he knows them.How could I leave that right now?Besides, I have my support system here.Friends.Work.Nicholas’s school.I even have you, annoying as you are.And don’t forget Bryant is here.”
She snorts.“All the more reason to move.”
“That’s his dad, Char.He still has the right to see him, to take part in his upbringing.Do you really think I could put a kid with a heart condition on a plane alone to see his dad a few times a year if we moved away?I’d never be able to do that.Besides, Harris said he might be moving to Riyadh.”
“Riyadh?I don’t even know where that is.”
“I rest my case.It’s—” My shoulders sag as I spot Harris coming up the driveway.My heart aches as I look at him.
Charlisa is right.I probably do look at him with love in my eyes.Even this early.How could I not?
“—impossible.Even if we gave this time, the end would be the same, Char,” I finish.
