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Thedays bled into each other, blurring into weeks. The Kingsnakes ran a tight ship, and weaknesses for a planned escape were few. The only measure of time I had was Ray coming every other night.
Our relationship had shifted since that evening with Luke, and we had both felt it. I didn’t blame him – couldn’t blame him – for what had happened.
But unspoken feelings still swirled around us whenever we were together.
Did I still love him?
To me, love was the only explanation I had for being a willing participant in what felt like a united front in the face of evil. A mutual surrender for the safety of not only us, but his sisters as well.
Sometimes we had sex.
Sometimes we talked.
Sometimes we dreamed.
Ray had keys to my door, but escape wouldn’t be as simple as opening the front door and running down the street. We would need keys for the main doors. I was a commodity, one the Kingsnakes would be loath to lose. And Ray was a bonded member. They wouldn’t let him go without a fight.
Either of us leaving without a carefully orchestrated plan could have dire consequences for both us and Ray’s sisters. It didn’t stop us from imagining a world outside of the motel, though.
“Is it hard?” he asked one night, both of us lying on my small bed. Moonlight streamed through the slats in the window, and my camp lantern illuminated the rest of the room in a warm glow.
“Is what hard?” His head rested on my chest, and I tangled my fingers through his curls. We never spoke about what had changed that night. But our relationship had evolved, throwing us back to a level of comfort we had last experienced as young, naive university students.
Maybe it was destiny. Or maybe it was because we found each other on the same team, fighting against the same evil.
Ray lifted his head, propping himself up on his elbows. “Living outside the city. Foraging. Rationing the supplies you do bring out there.” I brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face, a smile ghosting across his lips with the gentle touch. “It was at first. The loneliness was the worst.” I sighed, remembering my first few months in the woods.
After a few cold and hungry nights huddled against a tree, I had braved the trip back to the city, intending to acquire anything useful I could carry on my back. I looked over my shoulder with every step, hoping to see Olivia around every corner. No such luck. I didn’t trust the trip further into the city to shop at the large grocery store, so instead I hit up the gas station on the edge of town.
The windows were haphazardly boarded up, and a shotgun sat on the counter in front of the clerk. I paid for my protein bars and ran, not waiting around to see why the shotgun was there. “I thought about stopping by your apartment the first night I came back. To explain. But I got halfway there, and saw two men in hoodies at the corner. A van was waiting for them on the street. I turned around, and there were three more across the street, following another elderly couple. It was almost like a completely different world to the one I had left only days earlier. The woods… the woods seemed like the safer option.” I could still taste the fear, a metallic flavor on my tongue, as I turned and hurried back to the gas station.
Away from the life I’d always known. Ray frowned. “But why didn’t you call me? Leave me a note? I would’ve come and found you. I could’ve protected you, Mila. I could’ve offered you a safe place to stay. Maybe all of this would’ve been completely different.”
“And maybe it all would’ve been completely worse.” I shook my head. I wasn’t sure if I could explain the complete and utter fear I felt coming back to a city I had once known like the back of my hand.
“If I had gone to your apartment, and you weren’t there, I don’t think I would’ve… I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle it. Not after Olivia.”
The crease between his brows smoothed out, and he nodded. “Easier to pretend you knew I was safe.”
“Exactly.” It hadn’t made leaving any less difficult. But I did it. And I did it time and time again, as the gas station closed, and then the corner store. Until all that was left was the grocery store, a thick shell around my once-delicate soul, and a faint memory of the way Ray smiled at me. “Besides, how would I have gotten word to you? My phone was already long dead. We both know leaving a note with anyone would’ve been a joke. I had to make a choice. A difficult one. But a choice that allowed me to survive.”
Ray watched me, tracing circles on the inside of my wrist. “What happened to Olivia?” I knew this was coming. He hadn’t asked me since that day in the laundry room, but I knew he’d ask me again eventually. “I was careful going home that day, but when I got to my street, I saw these men forcing her into a van. I was trying to figure out how to help when she saw me.” That exact moment haunted me for months. Her blonde hair whipping every which way as she fought off her kidnappers. The way she had screamed at me. “She told me to run. She risked herself for me, Ray. I didn’t know what else to do besides run.”
“So you weren’t just pulling a runaway bride then.” He grinned, lighting up his entire face. I laughed, trying to keep quiet so as to not alert any other brothers who might still be on the floor.
“No. Definitely not. Is that what you thought all this time?”
“You really think I’m that whipped?” Ray winked, and checked the watch on his wrist. I hadn’t seen a watch in years, and I had no idea how he had managed to keep the thing alive for so long. But with Ray, anything was possible. “I should get going. Avery won’t sleep until I’m home.”
He got to his feet, and I crossed my legs as I sat up. “She’s a good kid, Ray. I know you’re doing a good job with her. With both of them.”
“Thanks.” He was quiet, putting his hoodie back on and pulling his mask over his face. Transformation complete, he looked down at me. “They both know basic survival skills. Shelters, foraging, fires. That sort of thing. If the time comes, they won’t be a burden on you. I’ve taught them both to carry their own weight.”
I sat up straighter. “Don’t.”
Ray paused with his hand on the door knob. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t act like you won’t be there with us. If we’re escaping, we’re doing it together.Allof us.” I wasn’t leaving anyone behind this time.
