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Ray gave me a sad smile, his eyes hidden in the shadows of his mask. “Unfortunately, in this world, we can’t always get what we want.” He stepped outside, leaving me alone in my room with his words echoing in my ears.
For the most part, I tried to avoid the other girls. It wasn’t too hard. I was used to being alone, so keeping myself in my room wasn’t difficult. But I couldn’t live in my room permanently.
The Kingsnakes managed to cut off water to the individual rooms, meaning the only showers were down in the useless gym. Communal style – simpler to keep an eye on all of us. Meals were usually shared for ease.
After Ray’s mournful warning kept me up all night, I knocked on Hannah’s door first thing in the morning. Normally Hannah came and woke me up early so we could eat breakfast before the other girls woke up. But this morning she hadn’t come to my room yet, and the sun was already beaming through my slatted window.
“Hannah?” I called. Silence for a minute, and then I heard her soft footsteps shuffling to the door. “Hey,” she greeted me, still half asleep. Her long red hair was askew every which way, and she looked absolutely exhausted. “Sorry, I must have slept in.”
“No, it’s totally fine.” I shook my head, examining her carefully. “You feeling okay? I can always get one of the brothers if you think you need medicine.” I didn’t want to have to get one of the Kingsnakes for help, but disease was inevitable after the Collapse. If Hannah was coming down with something we needed to catch it now, before it had a chance to spread.
“No. Don’t get one of them. I’m just tired.” She sighed, grabbing her ratty cardigan from her bed and pulling it over her frail shoulders.
“I just never really saw my life ending up this way. I guess it’s really getting to me lately.” I offered her a smile. I understood the feeling more than I would ever be able to convey. How did you explain the need to survive in a world that just wanted to destroy you? “I don’t think any of us did. Your brother… is he treating you okay?” Hannah shrugged.
“As well as I could hope for, I guess. Come on. Let’s get some breakfast before the Snake Charmers eat it all.” I followed her downstairs to the kitchen, past the nameless, faceless brother on duty. I had learned to pretend like they were no more than decoration. It was a child’s game, really. If I didn’t notice them, they wouldn’t notice me.
Chatter drifted out the door, more voices than during our normal breakfast time. I tried to hide my grimace. As much as I did my best to ignore the Kingsnakes, I also did my best to avoid the other girls.
EspeciallyLaura. The girl had it out for me, but as long as I stayed out of her way, there was nothing she could really do. For now.
From the sounds of it, Laura was holding court in the kitchen. I had also learned most of the brothers let the drama play out unless it came to physical blows – free entertainment for them. I really didn’t want to get involved in whatever was happening this morning, but my stomach was growling, and Hannah was already halfway in the door.
Laura clocked us as soon as we walked in, turning away from the poor girl she had been berating for some reason or another. “Well if it isn’t the slut and her best friend, Little Orphan Annie.”
I rolled my eyes, turning away from Laura’s sharp glare and reaching into the cupboard that held food stuff. The Kingsnakes hadn’t been too successful in their supply runs lately, so our choices were limited. Protein bars, mystery meat jerky, and some stale crackers were the only things on the menu.
“Save it for someone who cares, Laura.” I grabbed two protein bars, stuffing one into Hannah’s hand, and opening the other for myself. I wanted to go back and hide in my room, but I wasn’t about to leave Hannah here alone to face the sharks.
Laura crossed her arms, still dressed in her tight-fitting club dress that had seen better days. Sparkles were missing in whole chunks, leaving her looking like a dying star. And even before noon, she teetered in her high heels. “I’m not stupid, Mila. I know exactly what’s going on with you and Brother Prospero.”
My chest tightened. I forced myself to chew the bite of protein bar before I answered. There was no way she couldreallyknow what was going on between us. “Well I’d hope you’d know how babies are made at this point.”
Muffled laughter scattered across the kitchen, and Laura’s glare grew deadly. “You know exactly what I mean. And if you don’t start showing me the respect I deserve, I have no problem going to Brother Brutus with my information.”
I needed to figure out what “information” she thought she had. Either that or intimidate the hell out of her so she wouldn’t say a word. Right now, intimidation seemed the best course of action.
“Sorry, and what respect would that be? Respect because you’re still wearing heels ten years into the apocalypse? Respect because you think you're better than the other girls here, even though we’re all captives?” Hannah was pulling at my sleeve, silently trying to get me to stop, but fear was fueling my fury at this point. “Face it, Laura. We’re all fucked, in more ways than one.”
Laura tossed her hair over her shoulder, her face turning redder by the second. “How dare you think we're equals. As if I could ever be on the same level as you.”
“Well, let’s see.” I crumpled the wrapper in my hand and stalked across the kitchen. “We’re both getting screwed by a nameless, faceless man in hopes we wind up pregnant with his baby. And if said pregnancy happens, our baby will be taken away from us, sold for goods to the highest bidder to keep us alive. Seeing any differences so far?”
She narrowed her eyes to slits and crossed her arms, but remained silent. I knew I was hitting pressure points she’d rather ignore. So I kept digging. “We don’t get a say in who fucks us either. Meaning I didn’t choose Brother Prospero, and you didn’t choose whoever got stuck with your annoying ass this month.”
“You really want to go down this path with me?” Laura snapped. “I can make your life a living hell.”
I threw my arms out to the side, looking around the crumbling kitchen and the waiflike girls standing in it. “Go ahead. You’ve been threatening that since the second day I walked in here. The first day you were too busy welcoming me to hell.”
Laura huffed and stomped her heel on the ground. “Fine. If you want to test me, let’s see how you feel about this.” She pushed past me, out of the kitchen. I followed her close behind.“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I grabbed her wrist. She turned back to me with a sneer.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I told you I would share your little secret, and you wanted to push the matter. The consequences are your own fault.” She wrenched her wrist out of my grasp and stormed over to the brother who was flipping through a tattered horror book. Ironic, really. As if there wasn’t enough horror in the world as it was.
“Brother, I have something you really need to know.”
The Kingsnake on duty was one of the young ones. He snapped his head up, seemingly surprised a girl dared to directly address him. “Um, okay?”
Ignoring the rest of the girls piling out of the kitchen behind us, I focused on the brother. “It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, brother. Ignore her.”
