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“Stay the fuck away. You are not welcome anywhere near her. Do you understand me?” Ben nods and I’m shaking.
Matthew is smug and self-satisfied as he laughs. He really laughs. Like he gets some kick out of this pain. Because he wins. With Mom gone she has nothing keeping her here. I stumble forwards and she looks back to me.
“Get in babe.” He’s cold and detached, and I want to kill him.
“Mik, please.” I plead as I race to her door, desperately hoping I can make her stay. “Please don’t leave.”
“I want to go home.” She’s empty.
Three Years Ago
“Mik, please open the door.” My forehead is pressed against the chipped and broken wood of their apartment door. My chest aches with the same emptiness I felt two years ago. My chest aches for my sister. “Please.”
Behind the thin wood I hear her whimpering. I hear as she desperately tries to silence her tears and my heart burns. I know that she will be sitting against the door with her knees pulled to her chest, rocking gently.
I need to hold her, to help her.
My mind races over the words she spilled to me hours ago and I try to think of a way in, a way to get my sister back, as her voice echoes in my mind.
Jamie, I’m scared. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.
“I can hear you, Mik.” My whisper is fraught as I place my hand against the wood and slip to my knees. “Please just let me in. I can help.”
Silence.
“I love you Mik. I love you so much, okay? And I’m here.” I whisper as a new kind of pain burns through me. “I love you. I am here and I will be here when you are ready to come home.”
I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.
“I’m sorry.” I apologise for not being here sooner. For not fighting to get my sister back. For hiding away out of shame and guilt. I apologise for the lies that dance between us, taunting us both, and for the words I haven’t been able to say. I apologise for two years of silence and tears. I apologise for not protecting her; for not keeping his hands off of her. “I’m so sorry.”
One Year Ago
“IsthisJamieWilcox?”
The voice on the end of the line is not my sister’s and my blood stops pumping through my veins.
“Speaking?”
“Mr Wilcox, my name is Samantha, I’m calling from Massachusetts General Hospital. You’re currently listed as next of kin for a Miss Mikaela Wilcox.” Ice. My veins are stopped with ice. “I’m sorry to say she’s been in an accident.”
“I’ll be there.” My voice is thin. “Four hours. I’ll be there in four hours.”
I shut off my phone and dive from our booth, pushing past Ben as he makes his way back with drinks.
“Jamie?” He calls after me.
I don’t stop.
Xavier and Asher stare at me.
“Jamie!”
She’spale.Andsmall.
I never realised how small my sister is.
Her chest rises and falls with a mechanical whirl and I close my eyes.
