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Jamie’s hands are balled into fists and his cheeks are flushed as I lock eyes with him.
Matthew doesn’t move.
“Now, now, JimJam.” He smirks as he runs his eyes over me. “You don’t want to start something you can’t finish. You never did manage to win against me.”
“Maybe not.” Jamie spits through his teeth and I can see he’s shaking. “But this time I’m not alone.”
I’m glued to the spot, my heart hammering and tears streaming as two police officers step around my brother, and Matthew glares at me as he holds me tighter.
My chest heaves and my head spins.
The thick fingers of the taller officer wrap around Matthew’s uninjured wrist and within an instant that spark of anger turns into a blaze. Shock tears through Matthew’s face as he swings an arm out in a blind attempt to hit the officer who has hold of him now and I flinch away as the back of his hand connects with my jaw. I stumble backwards, heaving for breath, as the officer drags him from the room and Jamie rushes to my side.
“Breathe.” His command is partnered with his palm against my chest as the other rests on my back, holding me tight as I try to regain my focus, the same way he’d been coached to before, and I hold tight to his arm. “You’re okay. We’re right here. You’re okay.”
I stare at the white crescents my nails are leaving in his skin and try to loosen my grip.
When Jamie speaks I can’t focus. I can think of nothing but the fact he was here and Ben is laying here broken and bruised because of him.
Ben is here because of me.
Jamie’s words are hurried and muffled and his hand never leaves the spot against my heart as he looks over my shoulder.
I follow his breathing blindly and struggle against the hold of panic that chokes me. And then a hand brushes against my waist and I am somehow sitting on the edge of Ben’s bed and his hand is on my skin.
He is back beside me, pulling me against him despite his pain as Jamie guides me to him.
His arms wrap around me as he pulls me to his chest, his eyes swimming with concern, and I can see his pain etched into the depths of the blue.
His lips move but I have no idea what he said.
“Mik?”
I blink as his fingers brush gently over my cheek and Jamie sinks into the chair beside us.
“Why didn’t you wake me, Mik?” Ben whispers.
When I open my lips to speak, pain rips through me and my remaining composure buckles. Ben holds me, wrapping me in him, shushing into my hair as I fall apart.
“It’s okay. You’re okay. He won’t touch you again, Mik. He’s not going to touch you.” He brushes his fingers over my skin as I cling to him and presses kisses into my hair.
Eventually my sobs subside, my heart stops its violent thudding in my chest, I calm my shaking, and Ben is still holding me. Still whispering to me. “You’re okay.”
Silencehasitsgripson Ben as he shakes his head in defiance. He knows I’m right. My bones ache with the weight of what isn’t being said. And he knows I’m right. Why won’t he just admit it?
“You asked about my scars, Ben.” My voice trembles as I lay with him and he sighs a deep, pained sigh. “They’re all from him. And now he’s hurt you.”
“You’re still not getting the point, Mikaela.” Jamie groans from the chair and Ben nods silently. “He did it. Not you. This isn’t on you.”
“I should have told you everything sooner.” My entire body is exhausted and every muscle seems to scream at me to release the tension I know I’ve been holding on to.
“Mik,” Ben sighs. “I already knew. I told you I’d figured it out. I knew.”
“I never told you,” I whisper.
The silence that falls over the three of us is weighted and worn. It’s a thick fog that engulfs the room and leaves the hair on my arms standing. It’s secretive and saddening.
Eventually Jamie grunts.
