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He shakes his head, and I stop breathing when I see his eyes are a little glassy. “I want my mom to keep sayingno. My dad…David…he’s not a nice dad. He’s not like my coach, Gustav, or my uncles, orAbuelo. Even before he went to jail, he never taught me how to do anything. He never did anything but make my mom cry.” He swipes a hand under his nose and blinks a couple of times, and I relax a little when I see that none of the tears fall. “When he beat up Aunt Isa…” he shakes his head. “I don’t ever want to be like him.”
“I get that.” He looks at me, and I take a deep breath. “My dad was an asshole, too. Used his fists a lot, yelled a lot, never cared about hurting other people.”
Teo’s eyes are wide and honest when they look at me and I wonder belatedly if I should have said that. I clear my throat. “I worried a lot when I was your age, and even older, that I’d be like him, too.”
“How’d you stop it—becoming like him?”
I look out the windshield of the truck, and think back to who I was when he died, and the people around me. Jacks and Brooks, Rose Jackson, and Reece Jansen to an extent…Nala. “My friends and family helped me. They showed me what it was like to be someone who wasn’t angry, or mean, or hurtful to other people. It made me work harder to be like them than him.”
When I feel a small hand slip inside of mine, I look over. “You’re one of my best friends, Mal. I’m gonna work hard to be just like you instead of David, okay?”
On the verge of losing it, I nod, finally choking out an “okay” after a second. The rest of his team arrives and we get out; he rushes over to his coach, who turns out to be the guy who came to our New Year’s party. I stand on the sidelines, watching him and ten other boys run and kick, and even though I’d never admit it to anyone, I’m enthralled the entire time.
When Valentina shows up near the middle, she comes to stand with me.
“Thanks for bringing, Teo. Mamá said you called and asked.”
I smile. “I missed my buddy. Now that he’s in school I don’t have anyone to hang out with.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” she says with a smile. I note that her eyes travel to the coach every now and then, and I think,fuck yeahbecause if there’s a woman who deserves a real man, it’s Valentina Rojas. Every man’s fantasy, she’s built with long legs, obvious curves, and a face that would have had men killing for her two hundred years ago. Her hair, always a different color, is cut in an uneven bob with pale pink streaks filtered through the black.
“Teo said he wants you to keep sayingnoto David’s parents.”
She jumps a little, whipping around to look at me. “Excuse me?”
Her voice is no longer friendly, and I like her more for it. “I know it’s not my business, and I don’t know if he wanted me to tell you or not, but I figure if he was my kid, I’d want to know. And he just told me he doesn’t want to see David, or David’s family. He doesn’t want anything to do with his dad.”
She remains rigid, her eyes burning holes into me before she turns back to the field. “Not that it’s any of your business, because he’snotyours,” she says, and oh yeah, this is a lady who deserves a real man. “But Teo is a young boy who can’t know what he’ll want in five years. Whoever David is, he’s Teo’s father.”
“Yeah, that’s bullshit.” Before Vali can spit fire at me, I keep going. “I’ve been where Teo is; the only difference was my mom didn’t love me enough to stick around and fight for me, so I had no choice. But Teo does, and saying he’s too young to know what he’ll want, and that David’s his dad…that’s bullshit. You don’t have to be in your twenties to know when someone’s an asshole. And not every sperm donor deserves the titlefather.”
She’s silent, but I know she’s thinking about it, and I know I’ve probably overstepped, but I won’t apologize for it. “Look, I just thought you should know. I have to take off. Tell Teo I’ll see him later in the week.”
I’m almost to my truck before she says my name. A woman used to men finding their way to her, she doesn’t move. Gotta be impressed with that kind of confidence. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.” She makes eye contact with me. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but knowing that Teo told you, that he trusts you enough to say something, means a lot. So, thank you.”
I nod. Then I turn and get into my truck, heading back to my side of town to wait for Nala. My stomach is still jumpy, and I can feel the hard need swimming through me, the desire to see her, touch her, sink inside of her and watch the world become a better place just because she’s with me. Whatever she needs—time, silence, for me to pretend all those years between never happened—I just need her. That conversation with Teo, and then with Valentina, has left me even more raw because the question Teo asks himself: “Am I like my dad?” It’s the same one I still ask myself, every day.
And I never have the answer.
